I love memory triggers. I'm so grateful that my brain reacts to so many things with a flood of beautiful memories. Associations are THE BEST! It fills my days with a reminder of all the great relationships I have, even if I hardly see anyone all day.
For instance, the following purse was made by one of our favorite people. Kyle was making one for his wife, Kathleen, for Christmas and it just so happened that my birthday was close enough to Christmas that he just went ahead and doubled the present to make one for me. I was completely surprised to get anything for my birthday and doubly surprised to have it be something so useful and cool! And now, every time I use this purse, I think of Kyle for making it and Kathleen for having one just like it-- and how much I love them both and miss them!
That's just one of many examples. On my wall, for instance, is a beautiful painting of the ocean that my grandmother painted. I've never met her, but it still makes me think of her. The painting used to be up on my grandpa's bedroom wall, and I remember lying on his bed when we were there for his funeral, staring at this painting for a long time, and how peaceful it helped me feel. I think of them both whenever I notice it. (And I'm so grateful my aunts and uncles let me have it.)
I have millions of things from my parents (especially at Christmas): books, a quilt (and my mom is NOT a quilter, so this is truly a gift of love), our nativity up right now, our stockings with our names on them, most of the ornaments on our tree, all sorts of things.
The quilt on our bed now is from my mother-in-law and Caleb has a matching one from her. Both of my boys have quilts that were gifts from my Grandma. I have a frog quilt from two of my best friends, Christine and Debbie, that they made for my wedding present. I have books from my friend Stacy (and this is symbolically dear to me because I feel that one of the many ways we've bonded over the last several years is through books). I have several pictures on my wall from my aunt and several trinkets from my uncle. Most of my boys' presents are tied to family in my heart-- a train set from Patrick's aunts and grandpa, a walking toy from Patrick's parents, etc.
But it's not all about presents. The fact is, there are a million triggers in our lives that we couldn't stop if we wanted to-- we couldn't throw out if we suddenly got depressed and stupid. Recipes are a major one. The food we eat is almost all tied to people. And I like that, so I promote the tie. In our family recipe book, I attribute the recipes to whomever gave them to me. One has come to be known as "Libby Pasta" even though she didn't come up with it. (Actually, Libby, this would probably offend you because I altered it so much that it's not nearly as good and now I don't have the original. I need to get the original from you again!)
And everyday things are memory triggers, too. I once had to make a poster for an event at our church. I have almost no (possibly absolutely no) aesthetic gift. Happily, my friend Kathleen has a visual eye. Now when I look outside in the fall, I remember gathering up leaves with her to put on this poster that she made for me . . . even though it was sort of my "job."
When I'm at my parents' house in the summers, I have so many triggers from all my years growing up there. Especially two memorable camping trips out in the back forty with friends Christine, Debbie, and Eun-ji.
I wish I could mention everything that makes me feel so good and so loved, but of course that would bore you all to tears. So let it simply be known: I love my memories and how they help me remember my friends!
And so ends my November Thanksgiving posts. This year I'm still going to number 100 things I'm thankful for in my journal, just like always, but I hope I can be a little more creative and specific about all the things that make me happy. Out of curiosity, what are some of your favorite memory triggers?
2 comments:
haha, i'm not even sure what pasta recipe you're talking about! how about i'll trade you for your pizza crust recipe. i always think about you two when i attempt pizza from scratch. i also associate you with walking (out of breath) around the temple with the stroller :)
hope you have a fabulous thanksgiving!
My favorite memory is triggered every year at Christmas time. First off, let me introduce myself, I am one of your other aunt-in-laws. Your father-in-law and brother were born just before me. Just wanted to know where I sat in the family... number 6 of the 10 children.
On to my memory, it would be about Patrick's grand-father. Every Christmas, us kids would seem to wake up around 6 am, normally earlier, and sneak upstairs to the living room to make sure that Santa had arrived. With 10 kids, there were many years that the living room was so filled with gifts that it didn't look like we all would be able to get in and find a spot to sit. Mom would get up some times and tell us to go back to bed, that it was the middle of the night. We didn't think that 2 am was the middle of the night back then. ROFL
Finally, mom and dad decided it was time to get up, because like most kids, we wouldn't let them sleep any longer. We didn't go in their room to wake them up, we just kept talking and laughing and squealing till they gave up. Mom would always come out first and tell us to all go sit down at the kitchen and dining room tables. But we were not allowed to eat or touch anything till dad would finally arrive and sit down in his chair. We always had a box of cereal in our stockings that would be our breakfast along with what mom would make every year... a Christmas Tree. Actually, they were cinnamon rolls made in the shape of a tree, covered with green frosting and sprinkles put on to look like ornaments. (I had that as part of my own family tradition till finally I got to where I couldn't make it any longer.)
Anyhow, now comes the main memory, dad would always take one the longest showers that he could make it, clean his teeth, shave and heaven only knows what else he did on that morning. But it always felt like he was taking hours and doing it on purpose, just to torture us kids. Ask you father-in-law about it and see what he has to say about it. It was the worst torture for a child, who just wanted everyone to finish eating super fast and let us go to open our gifts. BUT... one of my greatest memories of grandpa.
Thanks for sharing your story here... I have been having so much fun reading it and getting to know my niece-in-law. You make me thrilled to know that Patrick was able to find an angel to have for his wife! And I have found all this makes me love you, even if I have never met you. Or if I have met you, never really talked with you before. Hugs and kisses for you and your whole family from Aunt Jill in Kansas City, MO
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