Grateful for Distraction

Waiting on Baby

Bethany asks me pretty frequently lately, "Aren't you afraid?" And I understand because definitely when I was thirteen the whole concept of giving birth seemed awful and unjust to me. And, in fact, I had that sense somewhat again when we went to the prenatal class, but at this point, as I tell Bethany, "No! I just want this baby out!" In some ways, I am looking forward to just not being big and heavy and uncomfortable again (even though I know that things aren't "back to normal" possibly ever again and certainly not for several weeks/months) so that getting another little person out of the deal just seems like this amazing bonus. That may not make sense, but I still sort of feel that way.

As for being big, heavy, and uncomfortable, I have another funny story about that. I was in my office later than normal last week and a student custodian came in to collect the trash. He was friendly, saying, "Hey, you're not usually here when I come in. What's your name? And when are you due?" I said, "Any day now," and he said, "Well, that's good because you look like if you were any bigger you'd fall over." I guess my sense of humor is improving because I just thought that was hilarious! I think I said something like, "Yeah, it's true" and laughed, though he probably didn't realize that I was laughing more at his insensitivity than at his cleverness.

Anyway, I realize that I can't complain. This pregnancy has been the easiest pregnancy possibly in the history of pregnancies, so if I have to wait longer than some other people, then it's not as though I have anything serious to complain about. Besides, it really could happen any time. When we went in for the exam this week, the doctor examined me and said the baby is in place and that when he comes any lower it will be because I'm giving birth. This was comforting because several women have said, "You really don't look any lower. I don't think the baby has dropped yet," but apparently he has. I haven't dilated much, but he said that it doesn't matter; I could still go into labor any time. To be honest, even if that was a lie (which I don't think it was) I am so grateful for it. I am happy to have even an unfounded reason to hope right now.

Various Distractions

Ender's Game

Last week was Patrick's first week off of two between semesters/terms. For a good deal of the week, we didn't do anything productive. Patrick read Ender's Game, which I had read the week before, and I read Orson Scott Card's Saints. First, Ender's Game.

I liked it, and I'm not even sure what it is I liked about it. One thing was that it was unique. It really wasn't like any other book I have ever read, and the war room, in particular is an interesting element. I liked that a lot took place from the main character's perspective so that you could get into his head and understand what he was thinking. That meant that that even when he did things that weren't good, he was still good and likable. I liked the complex simplicity of the story. I mean, there aren't that many characters to keep track of and the plot isn't difficult to follow, but the relationships are interesting and multifaceted. Patrick read more of the series, but he said Ender's Game was his favorite, though he did get pretty caught up in some of the others, as well.

Saints

I have been curious about this book since seeing it in the BYU bookstore a few years ago, so when we passed it on the shelves at the library, I thought I'd check it out. I had mixed feelings about it. The beginning is terribly depressing and hopeless. When the family converts to the LDS Church and comes to America, a lot of that stifling hopelessness is gone, so that the story becomes more bearable. I had a teacher of Doctrine and Covenants point out that Mormons in the 21st Century tend to think that Mormons in the 19th Century were the same as we were, but in reality they were more rugged, living in frontier America. I think that most historical fiction writers taking on the subject get caught up in the illusion, and I admire that Card didn't. I think in many ways his portrayal of Joseph Smith, for instance, may have been more real than any others I've ever read. Still, it was jolting sometimes and, although I respected that about his writing, it made it harder to embrace the story when the characters so clearly didn't match my illusion.

Also, polygamy is a major element of the story. This is a complex subject for many Mormons and non-Mormons alike. I was going to say that a lot of LDS historical fiction writers might simplify it, but I don't know that I've ever even read a work by an LDS author where polygamy was "the story," and particularly not where the beginning of polygamy was "the story." I admire that Card took on something so challenging, and I admire that he gave balance to the perspective. On the one hand, it was not an easy law for the people to keep. I liked his emphasis on their background-- they were not that far removed from the Puritan mindset, so adultery was loathsome to them. They obviously weren't just living this way for kicks; they were doing it out of obedience. On the other hand, the people found joy in the practice and even made it into something beautiful, a possibility I don't think I had really considered until reading this book.

So while this definitely wasn't my favorite book and I think that Card may have gone beyond what "frontier America" called for in some places, I like that it made me think about things in a new way and that he treated the subject with respect.

1776

I love the musical 1776 and would even have considered it to be one of my favorite movies in the past. So I watched it last Saturday while folding laundry and cleaning up because I know so much of it by heart I didn't expect to get lured in. And, in fact, I did get a lot done, but at the end, I just sat there and watched it. I just want to say that this was the first time I'd ever watched the movie and had a serious sense that these men didn't know that they were going to succeed. I mean, all the debates about liberty and the Declaration were real. They really didn't know that they were forming the basis of a new nation. They had a sense that they were doing it. They (some of them anyway) had a hope that it could happen. They had a vision of what they believed should happen. But the odds were so much against them that the fact that they wrote and signed a document severing their allegiance to England in the middle of a war with that country that seemed impossible to win is incredible! For some reason, after watching this movie so many times, this was the first time I had a true sense of their fear and of their courage.

Miscellaneous

My boss has agreed that I can work pretty much until the baby comes. I sent him an email asking if I could work into September if the baby hadn't come, and he replied that they'd like to keep me as long as they could, but if the pregnancy goes into the 18th or 19th month, they'd probably have to get approval to keep me on. I replied, "If the pregnancy goes into the 18th or 19th month, I'm going to shoot myself, so I won't need employment. Thanks." So I have work as a good distraction besides everything else I'm doing to keep myself occupied.

Yesterday, Patrick and I went to see Indiana Jones at the dollar theater. Some of it was pretty gruesome and Patrick thought it was pretty weird right afterwards, but later he pointed out that it wasn't much weirder than the other ones. We think we might see Ironman on Labor Day and sometime I'd like to see Prince Caspian. We figure if we're waiting on the baby, we might as well enjoy the movie theater while we have the liberty to do so.

We have also watched the Olympics (especially gymnastics, swimming, diving, and other prime time events). While watching, we started a puzzle, which we just finished yesterday. We have cleaned up the apartment and gotten more organized, and I attended a class on installing a baby seat correctly at the Department of Health and Justice. And we have gone for walks. And I have written disgustingly long blog entries in order to distract myself and keep busy doing something.

Encouraging the Baby

Two doctor's appointments ago, the receptionist informed us that we needed to start making payments (which we had been waiting to do until closer to the end of the pregnancy) because, she said, "You're 34 weeks along. You could have the baby any time now." It was a bit of a shock to realize how close we are. Now, several weeks later, the baby is due in less than a month. We now have one more prenatal class on Monday, in which we will learn about breastfeeding.

The last class was on the postpartum period. Before the class, I had a vision in my head of me hopping out of bed the next day and being set to go back to life as normal, so the class was a good reality check. I've asked my mom to come out for a while, hopefully including the birth. I asked her soon after we discovered we were pregnant and Patrick was both in shock and still in some denial. Once he had adjusted and become excited, I wasn't as worried about her coming to be here for the big event. However, he is still pretty anxious for her to be here because he's a little overwhelmed by the whole idea of giving birth, even though it's me doing it. And with the image I had in my head of me being all set with everything after the birth, I thought it would mostly be nice to have her here to help me figure out the whole "mom-thing." After the class, I realized there is just no telling how functional I'll be and it made me so grateful that she's coming for more reasons than just what I imagined. It is pretty amazing how much we've learned in the last couple months, things we might never have learned if we never had kids.

Our next doctor's appointment isn't until August 20. We're at the point where we're supposed to come in every week, except that our doctor will be out of town next week, so it will be two weeks until our next appointment. The appointment is the same day as Patrick has "scheduled" the baby to come. People keep telling us that "you can't plan when the baby comes" and "they have a mind of their own" and "they'll do what they want, no matter what your plans are." Even if we are first-time parents, we are pretty aware of that. Still, in the ideal world, the baby would come a little early so Patrick didn't have school to worry about.

This next week he has one day of class, one day of study, and two or three days for exams. After that, he has two weeks off from school until fall semester begins. This is lovely because, until now, he's been going to school straight from fall 2007 through summer 2008 with much shorter time between terms (except for Christmas). He's looking forward to the break and we're both inviting the baby to make his appearance during that period when Patrick will be more available.

Plus, besides the convenience in timing, this baby is big. They haven't told me that, but my stomach is quite big in any case. When I get out of bed, I have to put my hand under my stomach to pull it along with me or I feel like gravity is working against me. So, given the extra weight and the number of times I have to go to the bathroom (four times last night and during every commercial while we watched the opening cermonies for the Olympics), I am ready for his arrival too.

I'm grateful that I get to work until he comes. It isn't convenient in some ways because I am tired sometimes and when the variety of tasks to do is low, I have to struggle to stay focused. In other ways, though, it's a relief. As it is, I think I'm one of those pregnant women people might dread being around because I think about the baby all the time, so I think I talk about the baby all the time too. And, after awhile, there's only so much to think or say about the same topic, so I need a diversion in my life. Even as it is, we have a calendar on our freezer door that I am crossing off each day on, looking forward to THE DAY. So, while we know that we can't really plan his date of arrival, we have still set an earlier ETA for him, and we've let him know that we have a birthday party planned for him, so we are just hoping he'll abide by that.

Our Summer Schedule

Well, we've started to get into a routine with me working thirty hours a week and Patrick working in the afternoon instead of having to get up at 3:30 in the morning as well as going to school.

So, we get up at 6:00 am now. While Patrick showers, I toast waffles for us to eat for breakfast. We trippled a batch and made them using Pattie's waffle iron. I also throw together some snacks for us to eat while we're on campus. When Patrick gets done showering, we eat breakfast together. Then I go take a quick shower and try not to use up all of Bethany's hot water. After we're both ready, we go for a walk around the neighborhood. It's always pretty much the same route-- to the park and walking around the park if we have enough time. Then we come back and head up to campus. I have a parking pass to park at the Maxwell Institute so we get to park right on campus, which is so great!

Patrick goes to class and I either read a book waiting for my building to open since we get there before 8:00 am or I go to the library and wait for the Interlibrary Loan office to open up. I have already finished The Bonesetter's Daughter by Amy Tan. At first I didn't love it, but by the end I thought I'd probably like to read more of her work. It turned out to be a good story.

Anyway, Patrick goes to class at the Tanner Building and I start work around 8:00 am. He gets a three hour break between classes in which he does homework, gets his hair cut, makes phone calls, deposits checks, and other useful things like that. Then he has class. His early class is personal finance, which he likes, and his later class is economics, which he doesn't like very much. At 2:00, Patrick comes to my office (where I have been posting articles, proofreading, source checking, and other fun editing things like that) and picks me up to go home.

At home, we eat lunch and usually play backgammon. Then Patrick tries to get to work around 3:00. He's there until around 7:00 and gets home at 7:30. While he's gone I try to straighten up, I read, and I do projects that I've been wanting to do for some time. We save dinners for when Patrick gets home so we end up eating kind of late these days, but it's nice to have him there with us. We still have a couple hours now before we go to bed, so we play a game or relax and then go to bed around 9:30 or so. This schedule is working pretty well for us, so it's a nice change from the exhaustion of the past two years. (No matter how much sleep you actually get, when you wake up at 3:30 in the morning, you are always tired.) That's all for now. Off to work!