Patrick and Keegan

An Unexpected Time to Count My Blessings

2012-01-25T17:01:00.000-08:00

Four of My Many Soul Sisters

("Support network" sounded too organized, "friends" didn't seem chummy enough, and "helpers" sounded too stilted, so sue me.)

On Sunday night, Patrick and I had one of the roughest sick-to-our-stomach nights of our married life so far. The next day, we were both weak and tired and still sickly. I won't give you the gory details, but the fact was that neither of us was in any shape to take care of two healthy (for which I was grateful), energetic little boys. I managed to get them dressed and feed them some breakfast, and then I was done. Almost all of our friends only have room for one more kid than their own, and I wasn't really in a condition to drive or even step out of my house, so I racked my brains to think of who (two people) I could call on for help. And in the moment, a flood of options charged through my brain. That was then followed by a flood of reasons some of them couldn't help or it would be too inconvenient, but I knew that if it came down to it even those who couldn't easily help would lend a hand if they were needed.

But my reasons for gratitude didn't end with that. I called my friend Amber and said, "Will you take Caleb for the day? We feel awful." And do you know what she said? "I'll be there in ten minutes. Is it okay if I come in my pajamas?" If I hadn't been so disgusting and she had been in the room, I could have hugged her (and I'm not really a hugger).

Then, I called my friend Temma who has a little boy just Eli's age. Didn't get ahold of her. Called my friend Stacy. Stacy said, "Well, we have this appointment, so I could for an hour, or if you need help this afternoon, let me know." It turned out Temma's little boy was sick, but I know she would have watched Eli for me if he hadn't been. By then, I was a little wiped out and couldn't make any more phone calls. Patrick was doing okay and hadn't been as busy as me up to that point, so he offered to take charge of Eli so I could sleep. Eli fell asleep unexpectedly that morning, so I called Stacy when I woke up, and she said, "Yes. I'll pick him up on my way home." Like that, we magically had the afternoon without any responsibilities. For three hours, we slept. Then we woke up, I took a shower, and we gathered our children back into our house, fed them microwaved chicken nuggets for dinner, and we all fell into bed. The next day, we felt much better.

I know that not everyone is so lucky to have a community of support like that. If I had my way, though, every woman would be so lucky. Because we definitely all need it at times. Thanks so much to my community, and may you always know that you can call on me when you're in need.

D'oh!

2012-01-19T16:10:00.000-08:00

(Note: I looked this word (d'oh) up online. I had no idea it was from the Simpsons-- I'm not a Simpsons watcher. Interesting etymology.)

By a series of events recently, I have come to reflect on a few of my biggest "d'oh" moments in the last few years. Now, to be perfectly honest, I have these daily, several times a day. Some junk or stupid gossip or idiot comment just slips out of my mouth (or sometimes out of my keyboard when I'm writing) like vomit. I like that image because 1.) I feel like it's that disgusting sometimes, and 2.) it feels like I can't control myself: I feel the thought fly through my brain and out my mouth and into the air and it sits there taunting me, making me think I probably shouldn't be seen or heard from in public. Ever. But the truth is that I realize the imagery is not fair because I really should control myself and really can control myself, so it's kind of a cop-out.

But, as those are probably the more horrible and embarrassing and wretched of my d'oh moments, I'll just keep those to myself. Here are a few that have been on my mind.

1.) Oh, And You're an Expert on That, Are you?

(this started this whole chain of thought)

So my husband and his friend are MBA students. For a project for their classes, they started this brilliant blog on living frugally as a student family. They then asked that their friends (and demanded that their wives) contribute. I wrote a little piece on shopping thrift because we had an awesome Goodwill experience some months ago. We spent very little for a great deal, and most of it was great quality. My favorite item was not high-class, though; it was simply a pair of jeans. They fit beautifully and they flattered me and they were the style that I like. They were a little worn, but it just added to the comfortable feel of them. I raved about finding my favorite pair of jeans at Goodwill. And then on Monday, I came home from being out and was standing in my bedroom, and noticed that there was a big hole on the inside of the thigh. I fumed to my husband, "Stupid Goodwill pants!" And he just burst out laughing like, How high a standard can you have for Goodwill anyway? kind of laugh. It doesn't really negate all our awesome finds or my post, but, um, it seems to take away a certain credibility.

2.) That Might Need Some Edditting

In college, I studied English language for my major, and editing as my minor. I also determined that I was going to graduate with honors, as in, through the honors program. This required a number of things: reading certain books, watching certain movies, writing certain reviews, taking certain classes, and--the thing I was most concerned about--writing an honors thesis. In the end, my thesis idea was to interview members of the Linguistics and English Language Department on the history and scope of the department, and then I would edit the interviews and compile it together for my thesis. I secured a thesis adviser and got to work with my interviews. This was months of work, mind you. When it was all over and I looked at that beautiful honors book in my hand, I started to read. On the first page, the very first page, of the introduction, there is an error: "will" is misspelled as "with." Now, I'm not really a perfectionist, but in an honors thesis that is supposed to be by an editing student, I was horrified. Not that it's the sort of thing that one would read with enthralling regularity anyway, but I have never read the whole thing through (since receiving the bound copy, that is) because I'm afraid I might find more blaring errors.

(Note: To confirm my memory, I had to go find the error. I realized that four years later, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to, so that's helpful.)

3. Maybe People With Little Knowledge and No Experience Shouldn't Be Too Pig-Headed

In our first church congregation at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints after we were married, I was asked to be the "Primary President." This usually involves overseeing all the children ages 18 months to 12 years. So it can be a pretty intense calling. In this ward, when I was first called, all the children were babies except for one, single 2-year-old girl. So my calling was really "Nursery Leader" (the class for 18-month-old to 3-year-old children) for one child. Because so many of the wards had only a few children old enough to be in nursery, the classes were combined so that more children could be together. I can't even remember why, now, but I got it into my head that we shouldn't get together with the other wards. I decided that our one little girl should have her own little class. Our bishop was supportive of me in my calling and he told me to go ahead. Later, he told me that the girl's parents were concerned. They thought that the social interaction with other kids her age would be good for her. In the end, the bishop supported her parents and asked us to return to the way we'd been doing it.

(Note: This isn't the only thing that I felt stubborn about in nursery which were probably wrong; there were quite a few.) And even after we went back, I thought I was in the right and the parents didn't have my vision (whatever that was). Now, several years later, with children of my own, I wish I could apologize for being so stupid and self-righteous and down-right wrong. I am sure they don't remember it or if they do, they probably just roll their eyes about it and smile, but I remember it as a humbling moment when at some point, I realized how silly I'd been about the whole inconsequential episode.

In short...

It's probably best if I never consider myself an expert on anything.

Do you have any d'oh moments worth sharing?

Time Just Slips Away

2012-01-16T18:28:00.000-08:00

Every once in awhile, I come to the end of the day, look back on it and realize that my little children are growing up. I know, they're only three and one, but still cumulatively that's so many days, so many hours, so many moments piled on top of each other that are past now. Not only the time, but their old selves also slip away. Eli was once a newborn, then an infant (rolling and sitting up), then a baby (pulling himself up and crawling), and now he's a toddler. Caleb was once a newborn, then an infant, then a baby, then a toddler, and now he's an early preschooler. One of my favorite times of the day is when I go in after they've gone to sleep to make sure they're covered. Though their brains may be working, for just a second they are as frozen in time and development as two healthy growing boys ever are.

Caleb

Actually, our night had some moments that were definitely NOT tender. Caleb fought with me over brushing his teeth and flossing. I don't know how to make this a pleasant activity, but it's an especially necessary nightly activity at our house because Caleb has a (so far not serious) heart condition-- a bicuspid aortic valve-- that is in more danger if he gets an infection, so his cardiologist has been telling us for the last two years that we need to get him good dental care. After literally wrestling with him to brush his teeth tonight (most of the time he's more cooperative), I couldn't help railing, "Who in the world thinks it's a good idea to floss a three-year-olds teeth!!" In any case, harsh words were spoken. Caleb was so wiggly and kept talking and pointing at me and I was so frustrated that I held him down to brush his teeth. Then I tried to floss and, with tears coming out of his angry face, he declared, "I don't want you to. You're being . . . mean!" And I responded angrily that it was because he was being difficult. It wound up that he went to bed without getting his teeth flossed, praying, getting scripture story, or reading scriptures (the last two being his favorite part of our bedtime routine).

Then Patrick read scriptures to me and Eli while I sat fuming and frustrated, both at myself and at Caleb. In the course of this whole discussion, I remembered a blog post I had read by a friend of mine, an elementary school music teacher, on the beauty of the words, "I forgive you." After I put Eli in his crib in the boys' room, I sat by Caleb's bed.

"How do you feel?" I asked Caleb.

"Sad," he sobbed.

"Do you think Mommy was bad?"

"Yes."

"What did I do that was bad?"

"I don't know."

"Remember how you said I was mean. Was I being mean?"

"Yes."

"I was mean, Caleb. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been so mean. Can you forgive me?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you were bad?"

"I can't remember."

"Were you being wiggly and crazy and making it hard for me to brush your teeth?"

"Yes. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes, I forgive you, Caleb."

And we gave each other a hug. At our house, we are trying to learn about the Holy Ghost and what it feels like.

"When we were fighting, I couldn't feel the Holy Ghost, Caleb. It went away, and I felt so bad inside. I feel so much better now."

And it was true! What a difference it made to make peace and forgive each other! But the fact that my little boy, my very first baby, had this conversation with me and could tell me how he felt and could understand, to some degree, what it means to apologize and forgive, it just reminded me that he's not a baby anymore, which is both wonderful and fantastic and exciting, but is also a little mystifying and maybe in a certain sense even a little sad that he's grown so much.

Eli

There wasn't any drama with Eli today. He had his moments of begging and grunting and whining, but overall there wasn't any real contention.

What astounded me with Eli had to do with when I was making dinner. Eli had been munching on pretzels, and I decided he'd better stop so he would have room for dinner. He still kept hanging out in our (TINY) kitchen and going "eh! eh!" begging and whining. Now, in the past, I've deterred him by handing him something and saying, "Go take this to Daddy." So I knew that he had a basic understanding of following instructions. Today, I was in the midst of setting the table and had the fridge open. He made a grab for the {fako} bacon bits and I was serving a salad, so I said, "Oh good! Go put those on the table, Eli." To my surprise, he did it and came back for more! He then proceeded to load the table with croutons, forks, a cup, and a water bottle (all in the exact same location on the table). Even my current baby is becoming a capable, intelligent, functioning little person. It astounds me and amazes me.

Come to think of it, I have often thought and heard other people express how God must look on us as babies with so little comprehension. If there's an equivalency there, then it gives me some comfort that every once in awhile he must think, "Wow! Look at you! You're doing great! You're growing and understanding and learning. Keep up the good work, little one." I hope that this year will be a year when he will feel that way about me. I hope that this year I will grow a little wiser, a little stronger, and a little more compassionate. Here's to hoping!

Snips and Snails vs. Sugar and Spice

2012-01-12T06:59:00.000-08:00

Girls and Boys

My mom tells a story from when she was a new young parent. She says a prevailing parenting philosophy of the time was that children were a clean slate and that parents geared their children towards having boy characteristics and girl characteristics. In respect to this philosophy, my parents thought they would work hard to bring balance to their children. They began working to bring out my older brothers' softer sides by buying them each a doll. From the start, my brothers played with those dolls differently than girls would, but when my mom decided that the "clean slate" philosophy was really hogwash was when she came into a room with my brother standing next to the bed, the doll on the bed . . . with its innards (stuffing in this case) sprawled all around it. My brother pointed to the doll accusingly, and defended himself: "He did it." At that point, my mom came to the conclusion that boys' and girls' brains just work differently, and it isn't all about parenting, and she was okay with that.

Up to this point with Caleb and his friends, I haven't noticed huge differences between the girls and boys, nothing that I could say conclusively, "This is what boy two-year-olds do and this is what girl two-year-olds do." So much seemed as much based on personality as on gender differences. Recently, now as a three-year-old, I've begun to see Caleb and his boy friends mark a clearly different line of thinking and behavior than his girl friends.

There are some interesting things I've observed:

Mothers and Sons

Motherly little three-year-olds sort of translates into "bossy." And I don't mean that unkindly, as I adore Caleb's little girl friends, but it amazes me to hear how they talk to their friends. A few days ago, we were with several friends. One little boy kept trying to get his mom's attention, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" And our little girl friend said, absolutely seriously and repeatedly, "I'm right here. I'm listening. I'm right here." Now, the fact that she was standing there with a doll in a doll stroller might mean simply that she was playing pretend, and I'll grant you that. But then yesterday at Joy School, I listened to her and another little girl both telling the boys to lie down, be quiet, sit here, etc.

The boys? How do they handle this? They seem a little baffled sometimes. They sometimes obey and sometimes resist. When they disapprove of what someone else is doing, do they tell the person what to do? Not unless the other kid is infringing on what they consider their rights-- taking their chair or toy, for instance. And then it's not in terms of what you should do, it's in terms of how you're upsetting me-- that's Mine! I had that first! with the implication being, of course, that you should return it to me. At this age, I think the boys are more likely to call on an adult for assistance. They don't seem to claim any real authority.

Movies and Stories

Another way I see differences is in pretend play. Almost all the girls I know are obsessed with princesses. Their mothers all insist that they haven't done anything to promote this love-- well, not in the beginning, anyway. Once the girls had fastened on it already, then I know they've gotten them princess things for birthdays and Christmas.

The boys are into fighting and war. Caleb is always talking about the good guys and bad guys. We're not an especially aggressive family, although we do participate in some mean pillow fights. All the boys yesterday at Joy School were running around after each other saving the world.

I was trying to think about how this happens, and I think it must be from stories and movies-- what draws their attention and what they take into their play--is just different.

Relationships

The other day, we went to a bounce house with one of Caleb's favorite friends. There are all these different blow-up bouncing houses there, and the kids would run around from one to the other to go through the mazes and down the slides. When they got separated, Caleb's friend would run around asking, "Where's Caleb? Where's Caleb?" She was eager to find him and connect with him and be with him. Now this little girl is one of Caleb's favorite little friends. They play amazingly together, but when I would ask Caleb "don't you want to find" her? He would say, "No." It wasn't that he doesn't care about her. I know he loves her. He just didn't need to be with her to establish the friendship. As a woman, I could relate more to the little girl. I felt like he should want to play with her; or that as a good friend, he should go find her. I had to just separate myself from it and admit this might just be one of many moments to come when I would have to accept that his way-- the boy way-- is an okay way, even if it's different than my way--the girl way.

Conclusion

In short, I'm having an awesome time observing and learning from these little children surrounding me. And I love them all, boys and girls. Do you notice these same sorts of things? What do you see that shows how girls and boys are different when they are little?

Children's Books

2012-01-03T18:26:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, what I should post about is Christmas. But I acknowledge that Christmas should be posted about with pictures and I don't have any pictures on my computer, so for now I will postpone updating you on our (FANTASTIC!) Christmas week in favor of another post I've been thinking of for awhile. (You can read this as: Soon Christmas will be very passe and I have so many other outlets for keeping this information for myself that you may never actually see much about my Christmas, but, hey, now you know it was great.)

Anyway, the truth is, like most of you, I love books. Furthermore, I would like to be a published author someday. With that in mind, I'd like to make a shout-out recommendation for some children's books that we've loved. Though we do love them, I won't be listing well-known authors like Sandra Boynton, Dr. Seuss, and Mercer Mayer or others like them because you all know them.

1. Edward the Emu and Edwina the Emu by Sheena Knowles [Rod Clement, illustrator]

My mom (not surprisingly) introduced us to these books. Patrick prefers Edwina. I prefer Edward. We both like them both a lot, though. The illustrations are fantastic! The people have such distinctive lines and curves. The visual comparisons between Emus and lions, snakes, seals, etc. are just incredibly fun. And the rhythm is wonderful too-- it makes the stories easy to learn. The plot is unique. Definitely check these out.

2. My Name is Not Alexander by Jennifer Fosberry [Mike Litwin, illustrator]

My mom and I stumbled on this in a Barnes and Noble in Phoenix. Great stumble! It's sort of whet-your-appetite educational. With a three-year-old, I love the chance to introduce him to people, ideas, history, etc., but I don't want to be obnoxious about it. This is a great kind of story-- it makes the introduction and he can ask more about these historic people if he's interested. Plus, I admit, I'm sort of a sucker for dad books because I noticed at some point that we had collected tons more mommy-loves-you books than daddy books. Obviously, I was so pleased when we received this for Christmas from my mom. Someday, if/when I have a girl, there's a girl/mom one that we'll be acquiring, too.

3. A Very Hairy, Scary Story by Rick Walton [David H. Clark, illustrator]

So Caleb really got into this book about eight months ago (around 2 1/2). The illustrations, again, are stellar. And the concept-- the girl's imagination running away with her-- may not be original in itself, but it's done in a unique way. It can be scary for kids when they first read it, but it becomes fun when they begin to see that the monsters aren't real. My son loved to tell people, "It's not really a spider. It's a grill." I think he was trying to prevent them from being scared; plus, it's awesome when you start seeing the connection. I guess I ought to recommend this for Halloween, except that we love it all year long. This is another great Dad book; in fact, it was part of the assortment I got Patrick for Father's Day last year.

There are more that we love, but I'll leave it at these three for now. Maybe later in the year, I'll recommend some more. We love books, so share some of your favorites with us. And if you're on Goodreads and we're not friends, "friend" me because I'm nosy like that.

The Truth About Santa

2011-12-16T05:06:00.000-08:00

The truth about Santa at our house is... that he doesn't come. Sometimes I become concerned that this makes me appear to be a scrooge or a Grinch or some other grumpy anti-Santa, grown up character with no imagination or sense of the magical (think the step-dad in The Santa Claus). And because part of my reason for this is religious-- as in, the holiday is really about Jesus and not about Santa-- I recognize that some people will perceive me to be some sort of religious fanatic.

This has been a matter of discussion with us for the past several years. And when it comes down to it, the question is, "Is it that important to celebrate Santa Claus?" At our house, we have five incredible (female) Santa Claus's who deserve recognition for the presents they send. These being one great-grandma, two grandmas, and two great-aunts. And then you ask, "Do our kids REALLY need MORE presents just so we can say that Santa Claus comes?" Because at some point it becomes ridiculous. Plus, we aren't big fans of lying to our children, although we don't judge other people as it's a culturally acceptable and somewhat beautiful lie that many other people participate in.

I have felt a little silly about this and am curious to see our children's opinions when they're in school and become more able to compare and process this decision. However, I take some comfort in reading other people commentary, mostly on Facebook. Like, today when I saw somebody say (about "the elf on the shelf), "I hardly know what to do with Santa Claus. I couldn't possibly do that." Or the other day when somebody else said they don't really do Santa at their house. And then my friend from Transylvania mentioned that Santa Claus and Christmas are two different things in Hungary-- St. Nick comes on St. Nick's day (Dec. 6) rather than on Christmas. And, specifically in Transylvania, Jesus brings the gifts on Christmas. So I admit, I take some comfort in not being alone. I know that my children can be healthy, well-adjusted adults without me taking part in the Santa Claus deal. And I like to think it doesn't make me a bad person.

But I know some people will think that we're silly. I'm thankful that when I told my parents (though they did do Santa Claus), they took our attitude in stride and didn't take it as an offense against their parenting decisions. Now, I'm happy to play along with Santa with other people's kids. And I'm perfectly content if you choose to bring up Santa with my kid-- we did the Polar Express and loved it-- it was like a magical journey into a book! But I thought I might as well admit that we aren't active Santa-participants. But we are big fans of Jesus--whether that makes us fanatics or not.

"All Aboard!"

2011-12-04T19:54:00.001-08:00

I have been looking forward to this last week for months and it didn't disappoint. It was exhausting and busy and sometimes a little overwhelming (when, for instance, there were twenty family members and significant others all together in one place; or when we were in a public crowd and my three-year-old was running happily every which way and my one-year-old was getting passed around and it was a challenge to keep an eye on them; or when we were on a crowded plane for five hours). But, even with the challenges, it was well worth it all.

The highlights?

Airplane

Well, to begin with, I love every reminder of how many wonderful people there are out there. Sometimes we all get a little depressed and feel like the world is falling to pot. But then there are those moments when we realize that there are many incredibly kind people out there-- not just philosophically kind, but genuinely, practically kind. While hauling two children on and off airplanes, there were specifically three men who went out of their way to give me help-- one did it twice, once while boarding he helped Caleb get up the stairs and after disembarking off the tiny airplane onto the runway, he brought the stroller to me so I could take the boys into the airport. The last time someone helped me, I almost started crying, I was so grateful to have met such thoughtful, helpful people.

Also on the airplane, I was amused to find what kept my children content-- ripping magazines. I was a little reluctant to allow them to continue once it happened accidentally. However, I know they are replaceable, and I concluded that the airline staff would probably prefer my kids ripping magazines than screaming and crying and kicking seats. And while I had quite a mess to clean up afterwards, I intend to allow it again if it can be as successful a second time, because it's an awesome, cheap, unexpected solution.

Phoenix

Seeing my brother and also meeting my soon-to-be sister-in-law was another incredible bonus of this trip. I think my brother is getting a stellar deal in a wife. And I can't help be completely shocked that she's going to take on him and his crazy family (including me, myself, and I), but I've decided not to give her a reality check and try to dissuade her because if she thinks she wants to join us, then we will gladly have her and count ourselves blessed, blessed, blessed!

I also got to see my niece-- and it was a delight. I've been fortunate to get to spend quite a bit of time with her during the last year, since she spent a month at my parents' house while we were living there. I love every chance I get to see her and to get to know her better. At eleven, she's growing up and almost a young lady now.

Flagstaff

A lunch full of family. I have to admit that this particular gathering was a little overwhelming for me. But seeing everyone (aunt, uncles, cousins, great-aunt, great-uncle, second cousin), and especially meeting fiancees and girlfriends who will/may join the family was wonderful.

My grandparents interacting with my boys. Not every kid gets to know their great-grandparents, and there is an amazing joy in seeing these generations being buoyed up with love. My grandma is a hands-on great-grandma who threw snowballs with Caleb and read books to Caleb and talked to Eli (the crazy boy was INSANELY clingy the whole week though and mostly went to me and my dad). My grandpa is in a lot of pain and keeps to himself and his TV a lot. Many times, when he does interact, it's to tell stories to the grown ups. So it was special for me when he picked Caleb up or teased Caleb or shook Eli's hand or waved to him from across the room.

My grandpa being sweet to my grandma. After the big lunch my grandma had prepared and set up for, and after the party had died down, my grandma went to her chair and said, "I'm going to rest for a minute." My grandpa said to her (joking), "Nope, you can't." And then when she sat down, he patted her leg affectionately. My grandpa isn't the romantic type, but sometimes in the last couple years I've observed these little things he does or says that show how much he loves and appreciates and values my grandma.

The Polar Express. http://www.thetrain.com/polar-express-5679.html My grandma had done this before with some of my cousins about ten years ago. It wasn't hugely extravagant, but somehow it was just wonderful. Christmas music played, cookies were handed out, hot chocolate was passed around, the North Pole was viewed, Santa Claus came aboard, bells were dispersed. My favorite was all the family interaction-- seat hopping and chatting and yelling jokes to each other. Caleb's favorite was the treats (according to his own words) but he lit up over the lights in the tunnel and he gave Santa a hug (probably because his cousin told him repeatedly that he should give Santa a hug). Eli's favorite thing hands down was the cookie-- which he shared with me, then took from Grandpa, then got from Autumn, then tried to steal from Caleb. He also loved the bell.

Skyping with Patrick. What a wonderful thing for me that my boys love their dad. And what a wonderful thing that Skype exists in the world. While skyping, Caleb blew kisses at his dad and told him about all the things we'd done. While skyping, Eli learned to stick his tongue out to make a funny face. It was so funny to watch him touching his tongue to see what it felt like.

Well, this is quite long, and while looking at pictures I kept seeing more awesome things we did and wonderful people we saw, but I did just say "highlights," so there you have a few. I'm so glad we went! Thanks to my grandma and my mom and dad for making it happen!

Celebrate, Well, Me!

2011-11-27T05:41:00.000-08:00

In honor of my upcoming birthday, I thought it would be fun to share some random facts about myself. I will be busy all day on my birthday, so now seemed as good a time as any.

1. First-- this is a little bit of a secret-- I still have all my journals from growing up. (I'm on about #16 now.) My oldest journal is from first grade. I was with two of my best friends this summer and they were saying what trash their journals were and how pointless they were. I think one of them had thrown away all their journals except the most recent ones. I held my tongue when I should have spoken up and not pretended to agree with them. Because the fact is, it's not that I think my journal from first grade is particularly profound, but the very idea of throwing away my journals makes me feel very sad. Never! I am a record keeper. Not a beautiful record keeper. Not a brilliant record keeper. But a record keeper nonetheless.

(Clearly, life's moments need to be captured: Cliff jumping in the Apostle Islands.)

2. I'm a little bit obsessive about names, specifically, my name. My first name is unusual. In the baby name books, you would find it under boys' names. It's Irish. It means "little fiery one" -- I liked to think of that meaning "passionate about life." My middle name is my great-grandfather's last name backwards. He used it as a pen name when publishing his poems in the local newspaper. My maiden name was an interjection-- how fun is that! And my married name is a noun. I have given a lot of thought to names over the years. One of the best things about writing when I was a kid was naming my characters. My parents even got me a baby name book when I was young, just because of that obsession.

(Little Fiery One, backwards surname, exclamation/noun!)

3. The (not super important but really intelligence-enhancing) gift I covet the most is a memory for facts. I fail at knowing trivia. I even fail at remembering things I'm really interested in-- like facts from books or history. Some friends recently introduced us to www.sporcle.com (it's highly addictive and time-wasting), and I have been disappointed to be reminded of this fault. Sometimes, it feels like such a waste of time to learn anything because I know that if I want to know it, I will have to learn it fifteen times before I know it . . . and then relearn it again after any time elapses. This, as you may be able to imagine, is highly aggravating. Probably this seems even more desirable because I know so many people who naturally have this gift-- one of my older brothers, my husband, my friend Kristi, and three of my sophomore roommates, to name just a few stellar examples of this.

(For example, Sporcle asked the name of this author. I have read this book in French and English, and I still couldn't remember!)

4. Along those lines, I always wanted to be one of those girls who was good at math and science. First, my dad loves math and science and he really did an awesome job of making them look cool and desirable. Second, when I got older, I began to realize that girls who liked reading and writing were a dime a dozen. Third, when I got even older, I began to notice scholarships for girls who were pursuing degrees in fields related to math and science. In every way, I just thought that was awesome. However, my gifts lie another direction. And I've accepted that, but I can't help but think my friend Libby is a genius-- with her master's in mathematics.

(Madame Curie-- way to go, woman!)

5. My inspiration growing up were fictional girls: Anne Shirley, Jo March, and Lizzy Bennett. Perhaps it's cliched and old-fashioned, but I adored every fiery, energetic, passionate one of them!

6. I admire my dad because he is a genuine lover of people and life. He loves all kinds of people. He loves to get out of his comfort zone and meet people and have interesting experiences. He loves to observe people. He is very easy to talk to, and he was my confidante when I was a kid. I remember slaying dragons with him while my mom was in a late-night meeting when I was a kid. He loves books. He read The Secret Garden and Tom's Secret Garden and later Dune with me. One daddy-daughter date with him included walking around Walmart telling outlandish stories about people we saw. Might make you a little uncomfortable next time you see people looking at you while you're at Walmart, but there you have it. Also, my dad is always striving to improve himself.

7. I admire my mom because she is whole-hearted. My mom is ablaze with passion for information. For a long time, different cultures were her thing-- she especially loved learning about Native Americans (and is very knowledgeable about Navajos especially) and about the Deaf Culture. When she learns something, she learns it through and through. Now, she is passionate about animals. She has a farm and can tell you the difference between Cockatoos and African Greys (both parrots but very different parrots); she can tell you about Parelli Natural Horsemanship; she can felt wool; she can give animals shots; she can bandage wounds; she can deliver animals; she can tell you about different kinds of hens. To me, my mom is a sort of renaissance woman. She's also whole-hearted in friendship. If she considers you her friend, she would be there for you 110%. She's also whole-hearted as my friend. I call her a lot. A lot. A LOT! And she talks to me a lot even though she has a lot of activities in her life.

8. My favorite color is blue. It has been for a long time. I have never been a big fan of pink.

9. As a mother of boys, I sometimes feel that boys get a bad rap. When I have girls, maybe I'll hear more negative things about girls. Recently though, I have just felt like I want to be surrounded by people who celebrate boys (not over girls or above girls, but as well as girls). I have wanted to say that boys have cute clothes. And boys are fun. And boys aren't necessarily harder to potty-train or teach to talk than girls. In fact, boys aren't necessarily harder than girls at all. And boys can grow up to love their mothers and mothers-in-law. And boys can grow up to be good husbands and fathers. I admit it, I really want to have a girl at some point. However, for now, I find absolute delight in my two beautiful, wonderful boys.

10. I hope that I will be excited about my birthday every year of my life for the rest of my life. It could be a little over the top. It could be a little silly. But it's one of those extravagances I hope my children remember fondly after I die. (My list of silly quirks they should remember is thus, so far: super enthusiastic about birthdays; lived off of anticipation of anything for several months in advance; set up the Christmas tree right after Halloween (yes, it's fake); rolled down hills and splashed in puddles; and showed off cool-looking dead bugs (though admittedly I'm really squeamish about live ones, especially if they're big).)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T10:09:00.000-08:00

Have a fantastic Thanksgiving today!

We're so thankful to have you in our lives,

family and friends! We are very, very blessed!

Trigger My Memory

2011-11-21T12:00:00.001-08:00

I love memory triggers. I'm so grateful that my brain reacts to so many things with a flood of beautiful memories. Associations are THE BEST! It fills my days with a reminder of all the great relationships I have, even if I hardly see anyone all day.

For instance, the following purse was made by one of our favorite people. Kyle was making one for his wife, Kathleen, for Christmas and it just so happened that my birthday was close enough to Christmas that he just went ahead and doubled the present to make one for me. I was completely surprised to get anything for my birthday and doubly surprised to have it be something so useful and cool! And now, every time I use this purse, I think of Kyle for making it and Kathleen for having one just like it-- and how much I love them both and miss them!

That's just one of many examples. On my wall, for instance, is a beautiful painting of the ocean that my grandmother painted. I've never met her, but it still makes me think of her. The painting used to be up on my grandpa's bedroom wall, and I remember lying on his bed when we were there for his funeral, staring at this painting for a long time, and how peaceful it helped me feel. I think of them both whenever I notice it. (And I'm so grateful my aunts and uncles let me have it.)

I have millions of things from my parents (especially at Christmas): books, a quilt (and my mom is NOT a quilter, so this is truly a gift of love), our nativity up right now, our stockings with our names on them, most of the ornaments on our tree, all sorts of things.

The quilt on our bed now is from my mother-in-law and Caleb has a matching one from her. Both of my boys have quilts that were gifts from my Grandma. I have a frog quilt from two of my best friends, Christine and Debbie, that they made for my wedding present. I have books from my friend Stacy (and this is symbolically dear to me because I feel that one of the many ways we've bonded over the last several years is through books). I have several pictures on my wall from my aunt and several trinkets from my uncle. Most of my boys' presents are tied to family in my heart-- a train set from Patrick's aunts and grandpa, a walking toy from Patrick's parents, etc.

But it's not all about presents. The fact is, there are a million triggers in our lives that we couldn't stop if we wanted to-- we couldn't throw out if we suddenly got depressed and stupid. Recipes are a major one. The food we eat is almost all tied to people. And I like that, so I promote the tie. In our family recipe book, I attribute the recipes to whomever gave them to me. One has come to be known as "Libby Pasta" even though she didn't come up with it. (Actually, Libby, this would probably offend you because I altered it so much that it's not nearly as good and now I don't have the original. I need to get the original from you again!)

And everyday things are memory triggers, too. I once had to make a poster for an event at our church. I have almost no (possibly absolutely no) aesthetic gift. Happily, my friend Kathleen has a visual eye. Now when I look outside in the fall, I remember gathering up leaves with her to put on this poster that she made for me . . . even though it was sort of my "job."

When I'm at my parents' house in the summers, I have so many triggers from all my years growing up there. Especially two memorable camping trips out in the back forty with friends Christine, Debbie, and Eun-ji.

I wish I could mention everything that makes me feel so good and so loved, but of course that would bore you all to tears. So let it simply be known: I love my memories and how they help me remember my friends!

And so ends my November Thanksgiving posts. This year I'm still going to number 100 things I'm thankful for in my journal, just like always, but I hope I can be a little more creative and specific about all the things that make me happy. Out of curiosity, what are some of your favorite memory triggers?

My In-Laws Are the Best!

2011-11-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

(Except for my husband's, as he also got a pretty incredible deal, if I may say so.)

Now you know all those horrible mother-in-law jokes? Or remember all those sad stories about not fitting in with your in-laws? Well, that is not my story. My story is the story of a girl who gets told pretty often how lucky her husband is to have her. My story is the story of a new mom who got sick at the same time as her young baby and her mother-in-law took off longer at work and her father-in-law postponed his return to all the comforts of home to stay and let her fussy baby sleep in their room so that mom could get some sleep. My story is the story of a couple who makes room for us to stay in their house (which is already shared with another child and her spouse) when we're in the area so they can get more time with all of us. This is a couple who definitely has the attitude of adding children by marriage and not losing children.

My awesome in-laws.

And it's not just my husband's awesome-as-can-be parents. While going to college, I was always a mite jealous of all the people around me who had family close at hand. And then, voila!, when Patrick and I were dating, I got to meet his two (later three) aunties who lived nearby. When the discussion of marriage came up, I quipped, "Heck, I'd marry you just for your aunts." They made me feel welcomed from the very beginning when I joined them at monthly family dinners. These women listened to my academic goals and babysat our son while we went to the temple. They taught me many dishes to prepare when I was completely inept.These women had some really tough things happen during the time we were in Utah and they still made room for us and let us be part of their lives. By doing that, they helped us learn an awful lot about families and children and parenting and love. They supported us through graduations and graduate school applications and baby blessings and many, many holidays. I felt as much a part of the family as if I'd been born in it.

Our host-auntie and her twin.

Two local aunts and one visiting aunt.

But, wait, it doesn't stop there. That's part of Patrick's (very large) paternal side. The side he grew up knowing best was his maternal extended family. In this family, every family on Patrick's maternal side is doubled up (and one tripled up) in their houses, and this is just one example of their generosity. Every holiday we get physically showered in presents. This is a bit overwhelming for me, but how can I complain? Now I know that people don't have to send presents to say they love you (good thing because this isn't our best way of showing love). And even when people send presents it's not necessarily out of love. But in this family, the presents are definitely a manifestation of love. The presents are only the beginning. They are also a time-spending family who makes sure to see us when we're in town. And as every spouse and every child has come into the family (and as they wait for more to come), it's clear that this family has an abundance of love to give. I believe that every fiance and then spouse has felt welcomed with open arms.

This is one maternal auntie. The other would never, ever let me take a picture of her again if I posted the one picture I have. But they are both awesome.

I've heard stories galore of women whose fiance's were told not to marry them by nervous (and as the women felt, meddling and judgmental) soon-to-be mothers-in-law. I've heard stories of women who felt their mothers-in-law only liked them when they gave them grandchildren. I have heard stories of women who felt their mothers-in-law broke up the family after the marriage by trying to keep sons tied to their family of origin. But, as you can see, that's not my story. My story is filled with a loving mother- and father-in-law and incredible extended family.

I'm Thankful for Good Girls

2011-11-15T12:34:00.000-08:00

(A few of the good girls in our lives, especially ones Patrick grew up with.

I chose this one because it was one of the few I could find with Alysha. What's up with that? Clearly, we need to get together!)

Recently, Patrick and I were talking about all the things that can go wrong in life-- all the points of decision, where good choices or luck kick-in in your favor. For instance, going on a mission for the LDS church for him, getting married, finishing school, going to graduate school. But even before all those major points of decision, there were many influences for good that I can reflect on that led him/me to those major points of decision. Growing up, Patrick and I both had some awesome friends-- friends that will be lifelong friends, friends that we can count on in need, and friends that we can reunite with and enjoy catching up with even after years.

But in particular, I have been feeling grateful for the girls he knew in his youth who influenced him for good. I have heard stories of him gathering around a piano on Sunday at the home of a friend and singing hymns with two girls. Now, my friends, it isn't likely that my husband would have done that with his male friends, but what an influence for good! What a blessing that there were people like that in his life.

The way Patrick and I met was through our mutual friend, who was my roommate in college for two years. When we were dating, Michelle would tell me that she had "trained" Patrick that he better open doors for girls. She thought of Patrick as a brother in a lot of ways, and felt she could tell him what to do, and Patrick respected her so he honored her good guidance (although at other times he calls her a hippy, but he's like that).

(Michelle with her little girl.)

Maybe this sticks in my mind because I have two little boys now, and I hope that the girls they know as teenagers will help them to make good choices and spend their time doing positive things. Also, I hope that I was that kind of girl for other women's husbands, that when my name comes up in conversation, women can say, "Gosh, I'm glad you two were friends." Because I'm glad that those amazing girls (now amazing women) were part of my husband's life.

(Another mutual friend, Cat, who I knew from Girls' Camp.)

(Cami with her husband at our wedding.)

(Aimee at her wedding. Yes, Patrick started a water fight with the bride. She is clearly an awesome good sport.)

I'm sure there are others that I don't know about or don't have pictures of, but Michelle, Cat, Cami, Aimee, and Alysha are a few I know have done him good, and I'm so glad they've been a part of our lives!

It's Nice to Like Yourself

2011-11-14T18:48:00.000-08:00

(The Pictures that follow are in acknowledgement that this post is definitely 100 million times more interesting with pictures. They date from 2001-2002.)

Growing up, my family had a tradition of sharing 100 things we were thankful for (each taking turns until we collectively reached 100) on Thanksgiving. Then I made a list in my journal as I got older and did Thanksgiving away from my family and then I got married and made Patrick do it with me. Last year, the friends we "Thanksgivinged with" humored me and did our 100 things list with us. Looking forward to Thanksgiving generally, thinking about "my list," and watching all the other thankful people posting on Facebook, I have been giving thought to things I'm thankful for. In particular, I have tried to think of original things I'm thankful for-- things that I don't say every year (family, friends, home, school, books, etc.).

One thing that came to mind was that I am thankful for the self image I had growing up.

Now, I have to be honest. I was not the most attractive little rugrat. And I didn't get any introduction to fashion until a friend went shopping with me once in high school. Even then, the only aspect of "fashion" (if we may call it that) that stuck with me is that it is probably more attractive to wear clothes that fit and that are from the girls' section than to wear your brothers' hand-me-downs that are two sizes too big.

And I wasn't the smartest cookie in the box (or whatever the cliche ought to be). I mean, I was in Gifted and Talented, but from an early age it was obvious that almost everybody else in the Gifted and Talented program was probably both more gifted and more talented . . . and had a higher IQ than me to boot.

And I'm definitely not the funniest girl you'll ever meet. I love a good laugh, but I'm usually along for the ride, not the one cracking the jokes.

I'm also not super creative. I have friends who are artists, musicians, actors, quilters, and much, much more. I dabble in writing-- and I like it, but that was pretty much the end of my concrete talents before adulthood. But even that is frequently not a showy talent-- it's a bit private most of the time (especially growing up pre-Internet frenzy).

Now, having said all that, and even knowing all that about myself growing up, I thought I was the best, most amazing little woman. I was full of passionate, idealistic ideas. I had big plans. I thought people were lucky to be my friend (though it wasn't arrogant because I felt equally blessed for every friend I had). Of all the gifts I have ever had in my life, the confidence I had in my youth was probably one of the best things I could ever have asked for but never could have thought of beforehand. It protected me from all sorts of stupid choices. And it made choosing to be happy much, much easier.

I had friends and family members who struggled with their self-images. And I remember that I just couldn't really relate. It was just a little foreign to me. I think because I knew them and loved them and they opened up to me, I could have a sincere compassion for them and a deep sympathy, but I could never pretend that that was a struggle for me.

And for this I have to thank 1.) My parents. My dad is super confident himself and my mom was ALWAYS positive with me about my body and my talents. She never harassed me to look better or lose weight. 2.) God. I think it was really just a gift I was given. 3.) Little Women. I know that one seems funny, but I was thinking about how much I adored Jo and how she was a model for me. For Jo, being the best-looking, most charming person in the room was just never a priority for her. To me, Jo immortalized making the most of yourself and your life by being bold and interesting and unique even if "you" wasn't super showy or super gorgeous (as I always felt was the case for me and Jo). Bless you, Louisa May, for depicting that character so well.

Mawage, that Dweam Wifin a Dweam

2011-10-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a husband who would watch the kids while I go away for a Friday evening and a Saturday all day. I wish I had a husband who would straighten up while I'm away, so I come home to a neat house at the end of my outing. I wish I had a husband who would say, "Go enjoy yourself," and wouldn't complain about how little our baby slept during his morning nap. I wish I had a husband who would take our kids to the park while I'm gone. I wish I had a husband who would make calzones from scratch for the first time ever all by himself and cut up vegetables (which he does not like), including onions (which make him tear up) to put on my calzone. I wish I had a husband who would ask me at the end of the day what I learned and what I heard and what I liked best. I wish I had a husband who wouldn't complain when he didn't manage to get his homework done over the weekend because of my plans, and who wouldn't complain when he had to get up at 5:00 am on Monday to complete his assignments. Oh, wait. Actually, I do. Well, how 'bout that!

In fact, this is not a love note. Public love notes aren't really our thing. This is more a commentary on marriage. I've been thinking A TON about marriage lately. And it may be a topic I revisit again. But what I've concluded recently (from watching other people's marriages and from contemplating my own marriage) is that marriage can be a fragile thing. How can it be so powerful at times and so frail at others? And it seems to me that everybody goes through cycles of each end of the spectrum where it's a little weaker at times and a little stronger at times. But when we've ridden out some of our struggles-- and, all right, we've only been married five years, but we have actually still had some pretty intense moments of major disagreement or contention or offending each other-- but when we've ridden out some of our struggles, we have something so much better on the other side. I'm not immune to the fact that some things are too awful to ride out together. And I'm not saying that there aren't reasons for divorce. But I recently heard a really, really weak reason for divorce with no intention of trying to work it out. And that to me was heartbreaking. Because, well, marriage really can be a dream within a dream sometimes. And that, to me, is worth making an effort.

(Patrick did not get The Princess Bride reference, but I hope somebody did.)

[Note to friends: Ah hem, I may have lost any commitment I had (or didn't have) to pretending like I was going to post a picture when I post. So let it be known, so let it be written. Hopefully, you still love me enough to read my picture-less thoughts anyway. Plus, I figure all you people who want to see our pictures are on Facebook where I recently spewed forth an over-abundance of pictures so that you can look at our cute little family until you get sick of our cuteness. There. Now I said it. Perhaps I'll surprise you from time to time, but I just wanted to shatter that dream--the dream that I would do what bloggers probably ought to do-- once and for all and make it official, though you may have come to suspect that at this point anyway.]

Sometimes God Takes You By Surprise

2011-10-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

Earlier this semester, Patrick had a phone interview with a firm in Milwaukee (Quarles & Brady). This was his dream firm. When we went to a getting-acquainted event over Christmas during Patrick's first year at Law School, we loved the atmosphere. The event and people were classy without being ostentatious. Many of the people had families, and the firm itself has a family-friendly attitude. It's also professional and well-respected. With all this in mind, you can imagine how this might have become Patrick's goal. And you can imagine how disappointed he might have been when he received a rejection letter from this very firm after the interview. Add to this the stress of business school and his position as executive editor of Business Law Review, and you can imagine how little he was looking forward to applying to other firms which wouldn't appeal to him as much.

And then, stretch your mind a little farther, to imagine how startled he was when a lawyer from the firm called with the position changed-- they had decided that they would, in fact, like to offer him a second interview in person in Milwaukee. Now we had never heard of this happening before-- someone receiving a rejection and then receiving an offer for a second interview afterwards. So we were thrilled and hopeful. And we couldn't help but attribute this strange and unexpected change of circumstance to the hand of God. Patrick did do things that may have helped--sent thank you letters, emailed to ask for interviewing/resume advice and express his desire to work for the firm after graduation--but in most circumstances, that would not have given him a job this summer. He truly asked for advice with post-graduation in mind. This is what makes us recognize where the credit belongs.

Now imagine today how he ecstatic he was when he received a call from Quarles & Brady offering him a summer internship. You can also imagine, while you're at it, how all of us rooting for him (namely myself and our parents) celebrated with happiness when he shared the fantastic news.

Therefore, this summer, we'll be headed back to our home state-- the great and honorable and down-to-earth Wisconsin for another great summer, this time with more hope for post-graduation employment and more immediate compensation (read: paid internship).

With all of this in mind, you can imagine how sincerely I say, we thank God for making this happen. We are definitely blessed!

No, My Husband Isn't On Drugs

2011-10-10T05:20:00.001-07:00

For those who wondered how Patrick's Lasik experience went, the answer is (and I quote), "possibly the worst experience of my life." In the office we went to, people had their eyes corrected by a doctor inside a glass room. This made it so that you could see it happening-- see them under those machines, see their eyes blown up on the computer above you, see the doctor looking through a mega-telescope to do his amazing/disgusting work. Then, when people had finished, they had to walk out the door and pass by their viewing audience. We were amazed at how composed people were. They came out with sunglasses covering their sensitive eyes and seemed unfazed by the experience. The office was probably glad that Patrick was one of the last in this grouping. He had talked himself into believing that it wouldn't be so bad, although he was pacing like a maniac, wearing holes in their carpet. However, the first thing he said to me on coming out was, "It was awful!" After that, I concluded that maybe everybody else was just putting on a show, or else they were in shock. Not my husband! He says it like it is!

In sum, the psychological effects were miserable. They were described to me in phrases like this: "they suction your eyeball up" and (at the end) "they squirt water on your eye and squeegee it off." The result of these graphic and awful descriptions is that it definitely solidified my no-Lasik-for-me stance. So, for those who wondered when my turn would come (specifically, my friend Debbie), the answer is N-E-V-E-R.

But the psychological effects were only the beginning. Patrick chose an office in Richmond. An office which doesn't routinely give out Valium (in retrospect, it's unclear to us why this is). Instead, they advised him to take Tylenol PM and go home and sleep for 4-6 hours. This is because soon after the procedure, the numbing medicine wears off and the pain is intense. On the forty minute drive home, Patrick was miserable and unable to sleep. While Patrick headed to bed in hopes of being overcome by sleep, I went to pick up the kids, did a few errands, and put the kids to bed (which I admit is not a quiet procedure), and I was startled to see Patrick come into the kitchen at 8 PM, two hours earlier than they recommended . . . and admit that he hadn't slept at all. "What have you been doing all this time?" I asked. He said, "I just lay there rolling around in pain." Ah, yes, just one more failed commercial sales pitch in the course of the twenty-four hours of our own show called Family Life in the episode entitled, "Patrick Meets His Match."

Fortunately, he slept fine that night. Over the course of the last couple of days, 20/20 vision is beginning to overcome misery, so that in a couple of weeks, he's going to be one of those people who says breezily, "It was totally worth it!" But for now the remains of his Lasik experience are medicinal eye drops four times a day, frequent headaches if he focuses too long, and red eyes. If the red eyes don't heal too soon, then he may be able to play that into some sort of zombie costume for Halloween. I rather hope it doesn't come to that because they look awful and he has interviews with two firms this week-- by skype and in person. And, though it isn't true, he looks a little bit drugged, which may not play out well at an interview.

Carpe Diem

2011-10-05T05:02:00.000-07:00

You know that quotation by Mark Twain that people quote all the time: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do"? Sometimes, I disagree with this quote. There are actions that people "seize the day" on that have a challenging, life-altering impact on their lives. And there are some stupid things I've done that I'll wish I hadn't done for the rest of my life. But there are times when Mr. Twain is right. There are certainly moments you come to where you must say to yourself, "I will! I will 'throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in my sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.'"

The biggest things I can think of that go with this are to get married and have children. What an adventure-- what a scary, new thing. On a smaller scale, this applies to our Disneyland trip, which we gave to ourselves after we graduated with our bachelors degrees. Was it super responsible when we were about to go into a bunch of debt for graduate school? Nope. But it was refreshing and exciting and fun and harmless. When I said, "We never do anything spontaneous anymore," Patrick said, "Let's go to Disneyland." We roped our friends into going with us, and the memory is lasting. It was perfect.

But the latest in the list of our brave, new adventures is . . . Patrick is getting Lasik eye surgery . . . today! He's been wanting to do it for a very long time. His desire to lose the glasses was reinforced when our friend Blake accidentally broke Patrick's glasses while whopping him with a pillow. Blake felt terrible, but Patrick was more annoyed at the glasses than at Blake. Who wants to limit their rough housing for a stupid little accessory! It was also reinforced during football season when it rained and rained and rained, and Patrick couldn't see a thing through that stupid windshield on his face. And the sooner the better we realized when my dad got Lasik eye surgery, and then discovered that he still needed reading glasses. Doh. How disappointing. So, we decided that with our tax return this year, he could use it to get his eyes corrected.

Now it's been a crazy semester, as I've already mentioned. But football season with intramural football is on its way. So the other day, he mentioned it. And I said, "If you want to do it, do it." And (as long as he doesn't go blind) I think this will be one of those things that we're delighted that we did. So farewell, harbor! Today dreams will be fulfilled.

Odds and Ends

2011-09-27T06:40:00.001-07:00

I admit that my attitude this year has left something to be desired. At times, this school year has felt like a series of unfortunate events. Between hurricane power outages, computer failure, job rejections, sicknesses, limited car access, and the more frequent immediate demands of business school, I have felt a little worn out and irritable, and the semester has just begun.

However, when I step back and get things in perspective, I can see all the good that has come of these little irritations. The hurricane gave us more time together as a family and with some of our favorite people, the Wilkersons; not having the Internet or my computer gave me more time with my kids; not having the car and being sick has made me more creative about family activities; and Patrick being busy has given me time to write more and it's also made me enjoy the good time we do have together. And beyond these little challenges, our lives are very blessed.

Most Especially, I Have Very Funny Kids

Eli is incredibly verbal for an eleven-month-old. His words include "wa-wa" (water), "kaka" (cracker or anything edible), "da-da" (Daddy, said with so much excited delighted; also means people he likes in general, I think), and "ahhh-da" (all done). This last is the funniest. I've tried to use it consistently to mean the end of a certain activity-- high chair time, playing with a certain toy, being held when he's wriggling away to play. And he, brilliant little munchkin, has applied it to nap time. After I put him down in his crib, he'll call out, "Ahhhh-da! Ahhhh-da!" I don't think so, little boy!

Caleb's vocabulary is increasing faster than his pronunciation, which I didn't realize until I noticed friends of mine couldn't understand him when I've always thought he was so good at expressing himself. Ah well. Mothers are blind to these things. I'm not that bothered by it. Someday his pronunciation will catch up. As it is, I love his language skills. Two recent additions are the word "sure" (which he says properly, and uses it to mean yes, and says it either with enormous excitement or a calm shrug of assent, but it's very grown-up yet cute sounding), and the phrase "just a second" is also new, but it's pronounced "just a sen-ic." Patrick corrected him the other day, and I told him not to. It's too dang cute.

Caleb is also hilarious, though not always intentionally. As part of our bedtime routine, we do a scripture story before reading out of the actual scriptures. For scripture story one night, I was telling him The Good Samaritan (a favorite).

I'd just begun: "Jesus told a story of a man who was traveling to the city of Jericho when some robbers attacked him. They beat him up and hurt him . . . "

"And they took his money," Caleb added.

"Yeah, and they took his money," I agreed.

"I would do that," Caleb said thoughtfully.

"Do what?" I asked, taken aback. "You mean, you would beat somebody up and take their money?"

"Yeah," Caleb agreed.

Holy Cow! Well, a mother's dream come true: my son aspires to be a thief. Great!

(As a disclaimer: 1. This is only funny because Caleb is not an excessively violent child. He's very mild and calm, so that's why it took me by surprise. 2. I did have a discussion with him about what this actually meant and hopefully I destroyed all of these violent aspirations permanently.)

Relief Sa-What?

2011-09-25T08:34:00.001-07:00

It's "Relief Society." Come on, now. Haven't heard of it? How can that be? It has over 6 million members in over 170 countries and territories. (Thank you, Wikipedia, for those statistics.) It is the largest and oldest organization for women in the world. It includes all women of the church eighteen-years-old and older. It's motto is "Charity never faileth."

Now the fact of the matter is, I wasn't all that impressed with Relief Society when I was younger. I mean, Primary (for the children) is full of fun music and active lessons, and Young Women's (for teenage girls) was full of awesome activities and girl bonding. Relief Society was old woman stuff. I've had my moments when I've stood up in defense of Relief Society, as when a boy I had a crush on stated (jokingly), "Well, it keeps the women busy." The condescension and disrespect just about ended all pining from then on . . . but in the end teenage infatuation prevailed over gender pride for a few more years. And perhaps the reason it didn't bother me more was that, secretly, in my heart I thought perhaps he was right. Keeping the women busy while the men did the important stuff.

I am pleased to say that over the years, I have gotten a greater vision of Relief Society, and last night completely shattered any lasting illusions about the inconsequential nature of Relief Society. Relief Society is a worldwide organization with the purpose of strengthening and uplifting individuals in all areas of their lives, strengthening families, and helping those in need. And Relief Society ain't for sissies (well, actually, it's for everyone, so if you're a sissy, you're not excluded, but you don't have to be a sissy to participate). When I reflect on the women I know who have been Relief Society incarnate to me, they are powerful women: Sister Baird (my friend's mom), Sister Allred (even though she serves in Primary), Sister Harmon (gentle, but inwardly powerful). There are many more, of course, but these are examples. And I have friends who are active members of Relief Society who are in many different places in their lives, some single, some married but childless, some in school, some working, some parenting full-time.

And the society itself? What do we do exactly? Well, Relief Society sisters organize things like book clubs or mothers' groups. But they are also there when babies are born. They are there for moves. They are there for operations and even death. They are there for hurricanes and tornadoes. They are there to educate and teach both secular and spiritual concepts. And I'll be blunt enough and "religious" enough to say, a Sunday with Relief Society women is an immersion into the Holy Ghost even with a room full of imperfect, very different women.

In short, this is actually, despite all my quiet childhood disdain, one of the coolest organizations in the world.

Get Your Creative On

2011-09-21T09:24:00.001-07:00

This morning I was feeling sorry for myself. After two weeks without a car, almost one week of somebody being sick, (which led to) one week of nose wiping two little boys and myself constantly, two weeks of being almost anti-social (except for my visiting teacher who stopped by last night and Stacy who has popped in occasionally during our two weeks of confinement and a number of friends who have contacted me to chat or by text), I felt entitled to . . . something. And I felt sorry for myself, especially when it started raining. I felt claustrophobic and cooped up, and I felt like whining to somebody and I wanted somebody to do something about it.

And then I had an inspiration, which went something like this, "Girl, get your creative on." Now that might sound a little ridiculous, and it may seem a little outrageous to believe God would speak to me that way, but it had the very useful effect of shaking me out of myself. And when me and myself were separated, I grabbed myself by my shirt front and shook myself a little and said, "Hey, you! You lucky woman! You get to stay home and get to know your two incredibly cute and wonderful little boys. You are blessed because you generally have excellent health and so does everybody else in your family. You are blessed that you ever have a car to use. You are blessed because you had an awesome date weekend with your husband [tennis on Friday night while some friends babysat and a movie at home on Saturday night]. You are blessed because you have friends to miss. You are blessed to live in such a beautiful place and because fall peeked out at you last week and made you happy. So, woman, get off your duff and decide to be happy."

So I turned to Caleb and said, "This is lame, huh? We are sick, so we can't go out. We don't have a car, so we can't go out. And it's raining so we can't go out. What should we do? I think we should use our imaginations."

And bless that little boy's heart. With glee and excitement equivalent to any person who ever won the lottery, he said, "Our i-mag-in-ations! Yay!"

So after this inner battle, I popped open our pop-up tent and made a "table fort" (where we cover the table with a blanket and throw pillows on the ground). Then we called these our houses and we loaded them up with toy phones and stuffed animals and other toy paraphernalia. Then we used our toy phones to "call" each other and meet up at the "library" (Caleb's bedroom bookshelf) and the "movies" (the couch with popcorn to watch songs from The King and I). And then Caleb called me and asked if he could come over, and we read together awhile. After this, we had lunch at a "restaurant" (a small black table with benches as the chairs, set up in the boys' bedroom). And this was followed by a "pretend adventure" (inspired by my dad) to "hike the Grand Canyon."

And the morning went beautifully with two mostly very happy boys enjoying the originality of chaos in our living room and cushions and books spread everywhere and Mom paying attention to them while promoting creative play, and I felt better about myself as a human being and as a mom. So, we will call Operation: Look on the Bright Side a complete success.

Back in Action (Temporarily)

2011-09-11T12:36:00.001-07:00

I have a moment, this Sunday afternoon, after stake conference to come back to the wonderful world of blogging. It's been almost impossible to maintain without Internet in our home. Unfortunately, while so many things looked possible when we linked ourselves up with Cox, the Internet still feels just out of reach most of the time. No, no, it's not actually Cox. (Unlike Verizon, who could neither give us service when we signed up with them and would also not end our contract or discuss our contract or take any responsibility for the fact that a strike is actually their problem and not their customers' problem.)

Instead, it's Dell. (Poor companies getting bashed today.) Patrick's computer has been on the fritz for months and suddenly spiraled into eternal computer insanity right as business school started. You can imagine the bliss that this has brought to our MBA experience so far. Don't worry, though. He has a warranty until 2013. Phew. ... Except he called them the week before Labor Day, worked things out with them for an hour or more and then was told a tech guy would come the next week. The next week, finally, the guy came and installed a new hard drive. Meanwhile, I will remind you that William & Mary does not so much as slow down during Labor Day-- so he is continuing with his studies full speed ahead and all that jazz limping along to keep up, using my cute little Notebook computer while I'm wishing fie upon Dell because he's stressed and I'm computer-less and essentially Internet-less, even though we finally gave in and paid for it. Well, you would think all our problems would be solved. But they're not. The computer continues to suffer from some sort of unknown disease in which it starts to turn on when you push the power button and then half-way through, it shuts down. So, in fact, it can take multiple tries to get it to turn on, and there's no guaranty it will stay on. Therefore, another conversation with a friendly and defensive (in a very subservient way) and concerned customer support worker is in the making for me or Patrick in order to get him a high-speed, high-memory working computer and me a ... well, my computer.

All in all, I hate to begin up again with such a negative post. Because, really, besides these computer complications, life is quite good. But I did think I would explain since somebody, no names here, accused me of being lazy and told me on Facebook to post on my own blog instead of riding piggyback off of a friend's blog. So, now, if you continue not to hear from me, you will know that my computer has been taken possession of by a poor, needy, handsome graduate student who can't give it up. But someday (no promises when) I may try to be more devoted to publicizing all the grand and glorious events of our adorable little household.

And now follows the obligatory pictures that make up for any boredom I may have caused while you forced your way through my rant. And, yes, these are the two most adorable little boys in the world.

Hello, 2011

2011-01-01T14:40:00.000-08:00

Oh, another year has come and gone. And what things we have to look forward to in the up-coming year. Some of the things that I'm anticipating include:

-our baby's blessing this Sunday
- our five year anniversary (seems like the first especially big one)
- birthdays, especially for a three-year-old and a one-year-old
- the half-way point for graduate school (Now that Patrick's decided to do a joint degree in law and business, the end is rather farther away than we had planned originally, but it WILL be worth it!)
- an internship in Wisconsin for the summer; the adventure of living with family
- spending some time with our neice since her visit should overlap ours
- roller coasting at Busch Gardens
- camping in the fall for the first time in Virginia
- visiting some of our best friends now living in Philadelphia -- a city I've never visited before
- a visit from a friend who moved to Provo but promises she'll be coming through with her daughter (you know who you are)
- spring "tradition" (so far it's only been one year) of picking strawberries
- fall tradition of picking pumpkins, then carving them with some friends, and chasing donuts around and eating them (without hands) as they hang from their ceiling fan (which isn't set on spin, but does spin a little, nonetheless)
- devouring books on my new Christmas Kindle

And of course more that we don't even know about. Every time I talk about the good things in our lives, I'm a bit boggled by how great our lives are and how blessed we are. I'll keep you all posted on it as I can.

Hey, We Have a 6-Week-Old

2010-12-20T14:39:00.000-08:00

Well, "lively" posting didn't exactly happen, but don't fret, it didn't take me 10 months to have the baby. He came in early November, a week after my due date, by induction. It all happened marvelously (albeit painfully) fast. Started on pitocen around 10:00; baby came around 12:00. Interestingly, I had one doctor start me on pitocin, one doctor catch the baby, and one doctor there right afterwards to stitch me up. So, in a sense, in this smooth, easy delivery, I somehow had three doctors rotating to deliver my baby. Kind of strange, and very different from last time.

For now, you only get one picture to whet your appetite. If you want more, check out Facebook. I just added a bunch of pictures there and I am pictured-out!

Seven Months Pregnant

2010-10-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

My friend Kathleen complained about a lack of pregnancy pictures. Obviously, I'm lacking any posts or pictures lately since we have gone the way of ancient barbarians and given up our home Internet. I've had several friends offer to let me use their computers/Internet to do it, but I mostly keep it simple and check my email when I have the chance at their houses so that I can hang out and visit with them while I'm there.

In any case, while I have a moment and the access, I thought I would post a pregnant picture. If you can believe it, at nine months I have ballooned out even more so that I can't believe I can actually carry myself and this baby around. But, heroic little me, I am managing to do both and at the rate we're going and according to past history with the first kiddo, I may be doing both for another week or two. But perhaps we'll all be surprised and I'll have an announcement to make sooner than that. I hope so since my mom is only here for the rest of the month. Of course, even if I have an announcement to make, there's no telling when it will appear on here, but I'll do my best to be lively about it and keep you all (meaning, I suppose, all three of you or so) posted one way or another soon after the baby's born. Something to do in the hospital, I suppose.

Upon Request: Pregnancy II

2010-05-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

Look at me, two posts in one day! Too bad I don't get paid for this.

In regards to this pregnancy, it has been quite different than the first. I felt MUCH worse in the first trimester. I have a friend whose misery during the first half or so of her pregnancy could be calculated at like a ten (as in, she is basically unable to function or she throws up). This second pregnancy was probably more like a three, maybe a four, where there were some days that I wasn't up to doing much but lying around and I threw up a few times. Though this is what other people simply expect, this seemed pretty unpleasant since my expectations were that this would be another one/two (on this very scientific scale I've made up), like when I was pregnant the first time. The biggest problem I had with Pregnancy I was that I was very, very tired most of the time. By the end, my back was uncomfortable, but overall, I felt very little nausea, and if I ate often, then I felt almost like normal. Oh, and I had to use the bathroom a lot.

Pregnancy II has now become very much like that, actually, now that I'm in the second trimester. I think I may be less tired overall, so that's actually an improvement. So, as far as it goes, the first trimester was just slightly worse this time than last time, but it's now about the same.

I feel like I ought to be able to say more about it, but that seems to sum up my experience. I don't have the munchkin's baby book at hand so I can't say at what point I felt each of them. This week (18 weeks according to doctor), I've felt the baby moving and it's stronger than the fluttery movement I originally felt with the first pregnancy. I expect that with how strong it feels that Patrick will even be able to feel the baby soon.

In any case, I gotta go. Munchkin #1 is feeling deprived. See 18 week picture below. (Sorry for all the extra space around me. Should have cropped it, but didn't have time.)

Ah hem... Upon Request: Law School

2010-05-22T05:02:00.001-07:00

It amuses me to have suggested posts from friends. It makes me feel that I need to work on my communication. It's useful, though, because now I know where to focus my energy.

Law School

The first year of law school is finished with the second semester now completed. How did it go? Well, it tends to take a month or so for grades to get posted. The two grades that were posted are above average and this makes us happy and hopeful. The ones that aren't posted were the classes that Patrick enjoyed less, was less interested in, and was more challenged by. However, I expect that he will probably get at least average marks in those as well, so it will be good overall.

Before going to law school, Patrick was advised to watch the movie The Paper Chase and was told that was what he should expect in the realm of competition, even if he wasn't going to Harvard. We found that was not really true. Professors mostly want to help and are interested in the students. This university at least tends to be (I suspect) about as family-friendly as any school ever will be short of BYU. The students are mostly respectful and kind to each other, even if they are in competition with each other. It seems that while you hope that other people overall will do poorly when compared with you, you hope specific people will do almost as well as you.

The thing that causes such great stress in law school, I think, is the fact that the entire grade rests on one test. Bad test day? No sleep last night? No excuse. That test is the end all where that class is concerned. Patrick thought, "No problem," because he is a great test taker, but these are essays and not multiple choice (which is his particular strength), so they are eight hours (for one test, that is) of grueling, stressful examination. What that means is, you have to learn to keep up on your reading and outlining throughout the semester so that when you get to the end of the semester you can just review what you already know pretty well and you don't have to learn everything anew and organize your notes for the first time in that last stressful week. I think really understanding how to study and prepare is what makes the first semester so hard -- you don't get the system until the second semester. Patrick, at least, certainly improved at his efficiency in studying and organization in the second semester.

Internships

Students in their first year across the United States are required not to begin submitting resumes for internships until December 1. I think this is to keep them as focused as possible during the first semester since they really do need all the help they can get trying to understand how it all works and get into the legal world. This is why we spent some of Christmas break at mingle events with two Milwaukee law firms. Though those didn't pan out, it certainly helped give us a final goal perhaps for the law firm itself and particularly for the environment and culture we most enjoyed for a law firm. So we found it valuable anyway.

For his internship this summer, my dear husband is interning with a professor. This involves mostly doing research for books/supplements the professor is working on. Patrick really likes this professor, is interested in this area of study, and he is very glad to be working for this professor. Plus, this internship has the advantage of being paid, not high-paid, but it is paid, and since many of them aren't we are grateful for some income for the summer.

The disadvantage to this type of internship is that it is not very true to what he will be doing as a lawyer. It is much more difficult to get into the research when it is not part of a problem-solving puzzle. In the future, when he is working with clients, he will research previous cases to make a case for what to expect in his particular case with that particular client. Here, he is researching cases, but it is more make making a list than doing any sort of puzzle. It worried me at first when he wasn't enthused about this research, but when he explained why that made sense to me and I do think there is hope that he will still love being a lawyer. Phew! I was getting nervous there for a little bit.

Conclusion

Hopes this helps satisfy your curiosity, Cami. Let me know if you're dying for even more details. I suspect that I overkilled on your question, anyway, but now you know. Welcome to the wonderful world of law school. I suspect it is not any more stressful than doing a master's in accounting, in reality, especially with the low-stress husband I've got going through the process.

May Day Post

2010-05-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, it isn't "May Day," but it is a day in May, so whatever. As though I wasn't posting too little previously, I am warning you that my posting frequency is about to decrease. Why? Well, we have made the BIG decision to go without Internet connection. We had been "sharing" with our neighbors, helping pay their bill or paying it off with a little math tutoring (Patrick tutoring, not me -- don't you worry about that), but we (I, actually) decided that I was wasting time with it -- after all, Facebook only changes so often. Furthermore, I've realized that everybody I'm REALLY interested in hearing about regularly, I am in contact with in some other form than Facebook, so that's been an interesting discovery. Someday, I'll probably have the self-control to put this knowledge into action if we had the Internet, but I'm actually sort of enjoying my unwired, disconnected freedom, as long as I get the Internet about once a week (which I can do while picking Patrick up on campus and at a few other locations in the area) and Patrick checks my email while he's on campus.

My dad told me that when I told my parents we were going without Internet, they looked at each other and asked, "Can they do that? Is it possible to not have Internet?" Then they commented, "Well, what did we do? We didn't have the Internet either." Of course, that was about thirty years ago, back when they drew pictures on cave walls to communicate and, as it turns out, the world has gotten more wired since then, so they may have some cause for concern, but we're not completely disconnected, so it's working out okay.

Progress

So this month marks 4 years of marital bliss. We tend to plan pretty low key anniversaries (for example, we watched the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on our first anniversary and then went and played games with friends in the evening), so we are celebrating this Friday by going out to Subway and eating some Edward's cake (which I got with a coupon). Sometime in the next couple days, we also intend to watch the movie Fireproof which my oldest brother absolutely insists we must see. I'll let you know what I think. It's crazy to think that we've been married four years, but we're both loving it and we have a lot of fun together. I'm grateful to be married to such a good man.

This is also Patrick's birthday month. We've been saving our dating budget for wherever he wants to go out for his birthday. He is also anticipating a good birthday breakfast. (This made me think that for my birthday, I may try my hand at crepes for a birthday breakfast.)

Also, we've discovered that there's a recall on the munchkin's crib (a Simplicity drop-down crib). We are planning to return it and get a new crib and a toddler bed with the money. Too bad because we liked the crib pretty well. We were kind of reluctant to worry about returning it, but I would feel pretty stupid if some fatal disaster happened with my kid because I decided not to take advantage of the recall system. I'm pretty interested in the idea of a toddler bed and a little nervous too, but it will have a big advantage of me not having to lift him high into bed when I'm nine months pregnant, and I already am looking forward to that.

Finally, I have had an epiphany that I am pretty comfortable in the kitchen now. After only six years of living outside of my parents' house, I feel that I can handle dinner (and even making a mistake with dinner) without having a panic attack or breaking down into a tearful frenzy. This, I feel, is what is known as progress. That and the fact that I can bake bread (though I've only done it twice), bake banana oatmeal chocolate muffins, cook waffles or pancakes from scratch, and make whipped cream and frosting from scratch (which I'll honestly tell you I didn't even know was possible as a child). My long-term project is figuring out this couponing business so that I can get a grip on how to make it work for us (which is one of those things that could possibly be helped by regular Internet access, but oh well). My next project is learning about gardening. I'm not interested in pretty so much as practical gardening. I would love to grow things I can pick and bring inside and especially consume. My plan is to study about it this year and dig into it next summer. I have also joined a classics book club my friend started and I completed The Brothers Karamozov for the first book. It only took me three months.

Anyway, gotta go take care of the family (namely a whiney little critter carrying on behind me), but that's the latest with us in Virginia. Over and out.

Quick Update . . . and Big News

2010-04-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

I have about two point five seconds to write before the boy needs my attention, but I thought I was behind since I have now been back home for about two weeks. I had a wonderful time with our families. I got much more time with Patrick's family than mine this trip. We went to the museum, the zoo, and the Betty Bryn Children's museum while I was there. We also went out to eat at Baker's Square, the Cheesecake Factory, and another place whose name I cannot remember. Thanks so much, both moms and dads for spoiling us and treating so so great!

And finally, another one to follow . . . a child that is. Yes, the stork is delivering to our family for the second time. I mentioned this on Facebook and mostly it's a little bit of old news to everyone now, but this should get the last of the people who might even be remotely interested. We are twelve weeks + now and due in November. I won't give the date because, well, I don't anticipate delivering on that date this time anyway. I just plan to be late, late, late this time. (Just wait, this time the kid will be early. Ah well. If we have a car seat by the time the kid comes, we're good to go, right?)

Right. So my time is completely gone. The boy is feeling neglected, but, yes, that's the news. More later. (Sorry, Kathleen, no pictures. But, yeah, I know you'll read it anyway 'cuz you love me.)

Meanwhile, Back on the Farm

2010-04-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

The boy and I have made a trip to help out on the farm and visit both sets of grandparents. We look forward to seeing Patrick's parents soon, but so far we've had a pretty big animal-focus on this visit. Here's a glimpse of what my parents call "The Funny Farm."

The munchkin adores the cat. Though the cat looks chummy sitting in his stroller, she is actually not all that friendly with him. Of course, I think part of her charm is her elusiveness, so he continues adore her.

When boy meets miniature donkey. He didn't like the donkey too close, but he was pretty interested when there was a little space. This donkey (named Moses) is one sweet little guy.

Petting the donkey. (obviously)

Meeting Porthos (one of the three musketeers)

Male emu laying on eggs for eight weeks without eating.

Seems to me the female emu eats enough for two. Not that she's chunky; she's just seemed to have an appetite the whole time I've been here.

Miniature horse: Aramis.

My llama greeting committee. Have to let the other female emu out of her enclosure and into the pasture and the goats crowd me, but the llamas were quite polite, just curious.

Clancy the wallaby. A bit of a shy fellow, but fascinating. He's a male, so there is no pouch -- just thought I'd say that up front.

Asimov, the umbrella cockatoo, is one of the oldest animals on the farm-- oldest in terms of duration on the farm so far, that is. Of course, his life expectancy is 100, so he will inevitably out-live the rest of them too.

Isaac, the African Grey, arrived not long after Asimov. Cockatoos supposedly have the intelligence of a 2-3 year old human child and African Greys supposedly have the intelligence of a 5-year-old. He talks quite well in the things he says. His life expectancy is 50.

Abish the Toucan is fairly new. She is not the same kind as Toucan Sam; she is a smaller breed. You can't tell in this picture but she's very pretty and colorful. Toucans are not in the parrot family and a significant difference between them is that toucans have soft beaks whereas parrots could bite your finger off.

These are prairie dogs: Meschach and Shadrach.

Hope you enjoyed my little tour of the farm. As the weather gets nicer, I will need to get the munchkin in more pictures with the animals, but as it rained and then snowed recently I wasn't all that interested in taking him out into the muddy cold. More to come.

Spring and Easter

2010-04-09T07:46:00.000-07:00

My boys at the Jamestown River

Our wonderful friend had us over for Easter egg dying. Here she's coloring with the boy.

The results of our egg dying efforts. This is not a very flattering picture of me, but I love everyone in the picture, so I still posted it.

I got our friend (with a yard) to have us over for an Easter egg hunt. He found one: success! All in all, I think he ended up with three total.

So, our Easter activities included egg dying, an Easter egg hunt/brunch before Saturday morning session, getting invited to share a delicious Easter lunch with some friends, and inviting some other friends to have Easter dinner with us. And around all those activities, Patrick and I went on a Friday night date and we attended all the sessions of General Conference at the church on Saturday and Sunday.

Some notes on Conference: First, it was amazing! Second, the munchkin really did great. Four two hour sessions is pretty intense. He slept through two of them, I think, and the other two he struggled by the end of them, but he did all right. I hope that this will get us started on a pattern that I want to keep up. Going to conference at the church is something Patrick and I both grew up doing. I don't think we typically went to all the sessions when we were this young, but we both want to do it with our kids because it's so important. Going to the church helps us be more reverent and focused than we would be if we watched it at home and hopefully it will help set the tone for our children, too, that this event is a church event. I know lots of families do conference lots of different ways, but I'm excited to be getting ourselves into our Conference tradition. I love traditions.

March is Changeable

2010-03-30T06:39:00.000-07:00

How could anyone ever get upset at this little cherub?
(Spoiler: I'm about to admit that I've done it.)

Parenting Woes
This month, our weather had not been very consistent: a week of sunny warmth, followed by a week of rain, followed by a week of hot, hot sun -- or at least that's what the weather tells us to expect next week. This reflects fairly well the temperament of the little man, as well.

He was sick for about a week. I took him to the doctor yesterday and she gave us a breathing machine. Since having a child (one who is sick way too often especially), I have come to the realization that the medical field is overly enthusiastic about "fixing" things that probably ought to be left to themselves. For example, around six months, the kiddo got bronchialitis (or something) and they gave us a prescription to go get suctioned out at the hospital. We went once and it cleared him out really well. However, they advised us to come back every morning and every night! We thought that did not make financial sense and clearly it wasn't that effective if we were supposed to go that often. We weren't sorry to have gone once, but we thought their advice to come two times a day was ridiculous. Though I took the machine they gave us, I suspect it's a very similar device. If they would just tell me, "Hey, there isn't anything we can do. It's just going to take two weeks for this to pass," I would be okay with that. I just go to the doctor in case he does have something that can be fixed quickly with medication.

Anyway, the kiddo did seem to be healthier yesterday before we actually made it to his appointment, with just lingering wheeziness and coughing. However, he had an early dose of what must be the "Terrible Twos" and I HATED it! Sadly, this little phase has carried over to today. It involves hitting and biting and throwing tantrums to get his way. I am not certain how to deal with this. I sometimes lose my temper (because I don't like to be bitten) and I dislike feeling out of control. That's not to say that I've actually done anything serious, but I end up yelling at him and being rougher with him and I just recognize that all in all it is NOT effective. I feel ridiculous losing my temper with a child of this age, but gosh darn it, I admit that I do. What's a mother to do?! Normally, my little boy is so mellow, pleasant, and even obedient, so it always exhausts me when his temperament seems to change so suddenly.

Help put a smile back on my face with any advice you can muster-- PLEASE!

In Other News
There are a lot of other events going on in our lives in the upcoming future. This next weekend we are celebrating Easter, of course. I long for good traditions for holidays, especially Easter, which religiously-speaking is THE most important holiday of the year when you think about it. I'm not very good at doing them, but I absolutely love the idea of great traditions. I have a great friend who is amazing at doing holidays right. I would like to be more like her. Leading up to this Easter, we did our Family Home Evening lesson out of the Primary manual on Easter and talked about resurrection. Obviously, not a concept that the kid's going to quite get yet since he has no idea even about death, but I still felt pleased with ourselves for focusing on the religious meaning of Easter. We are also planning on sending him on an Easter egg hunt because, hey, it's fun. It's yet to be determined what the little plastic eggs will actually contain.

Also, we will be attending General Conference this weekend for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love General Conference. The leaders of our church speak with inspiration and power and give us simple, clear doctrines to live by. They teach us from the scriptures and they testify of Jesus Christ. We hear from a prophet, called of God, just as in olden days like Adam, Noah, or Isaiah. And we hear from apostles, just as Jesus Christ organized upon the earth when he lived here. We also hear from female leaders who direct the Relief Society, Young Womens program, and Primary (for children) of our church. These are some pretty incredible people. The more often I hear them, the more I love and admire them.

Then, soon after, the kiddo and I will be heading to visit the families in good ol' Wisconsin. I hate to be apart from Patrick and we have rarely been apart in the entirety of our marriage (about three days being the extent of it). However, another of our friends will be leaving her husband for a bit too, so the men-folk have plans to study for school and play Wii.

When we get back, I am hosting a baby shower for a friend. I am so lucky to have great people who are helping me pull it together. So we will have a pretty busy next month. I'm sure there will be updates to follow, although I recognize that I am slackerish about it lately.

Um... Goodbye, February

2010-02-27T04:26:00.001-08:00

Before our mystery dinner date.

I have slacked off on posting recently. I don't have an internet connection during most of the day, so that's part of the reason. This is mostly an apology to my grandma, who I suspect is the person who cares the most.

Anyway, February has been a busy month for us. It's so short it just flies by! This month Patrick and I went on a date outside of our usual Friday-night date rotation. We went to a mystery dinner date that my mom got us tickets to for Christmas. We enjoyed the company at our table and loved going out together. And we also knew that the kiddo was in the best of hands with our friends Timi and Eddie.

I also baked my first loaves of bread ever. It was sort of on my "list of things to do before I die." I was at a Relief Society meeting at our church with two friends where a friend of mine was teaching us how to make homemade bread. I told the two friends at my table that I would like to learn to bake bread before I die, and one of my friends exclaimed, "Oh, Keegan, don't wait that long! Let's bake bread before March." And we got together and did it. So there's one thing off my list, and now I plan to do it pretty regularly.

The kiddo helping my friend mix her dough.

My dough before I split it in two, and two of my bread-baking buddies.

Also, the kiddo used his kiddy toilet. Both times it was a fluke, but that's the beginning of learning right? It's nice because he is interested in it and he has now used it successfully, so as he gains the control he needs, I'm hoping these experiences will help encourage him in the process. I haven't read anything about potty training, so I don't really know what I'm "supposed" to be doing, and I'm just making things up as I go along. I'll let you all know how that goes as we progress.

I also made a funny discovery this month. I am always eager to help people, but I have realized recently that it takes someone else to help me to help someone. A good deal of the time, the help people need requires that I find someone to watch the kiddo, so it has amused me to be eager to help and then to be in need of help myself. Seems a bit ironic. Fortunately, I have some awesome friends who are very supportive and tolerant of my enthusiasm even though it makes more work for them.

I have also gone for lots of walks. I have two friends who recently had babies and I have enjoyed going with them and remembering what a life-saver it was for me to go walking with my friend Libby when I was a new mom. Sometimes when I am waiting for my friends or on days that they don't make it, I just go to Colonial Williamsburg and watch the kiddo run around. It's great because there are often people there (but at this season it certainly isn't crowded), and cars aren't allowed on the streets, so it's a very open place to run around and there are lots of things to notice and talk about.

And now we are concluding the month with me being sick. I am staying home from church at this very moment because I feel lousy. I already took a nap and I expect Patrick and the kiddo home any minute. The great thing about being sick is that it has made me grateful for all the things I can normally do and all the help I get, especially from Patrick. He has been so patient this weekend and lent lots of extra help watching the kiddo so I could rest. This will be the first time Patrick has ever gone as a solo parent to church, I think. And we both know it is not an easy thing because the kiddo is on a sort of nap schedule now that involves sleeping right around the time church is starting, but I am so grateful that they both went so I could lay in bed for the morning and sleep, as well as the fact that it's the best place to be, of course.

That's my not-very-exciting update on our lives this month. Though it wasn't riddled with laughs and entertainment, you can be assured that we are doing well and feeling happy.

Dad and the boy at the top of the slide.

My two favorite people in the world!

Ode to a Smart Mama

2010-01-31T08:50:00.000-08:00

When I first had my baby, my mom told me to talk to him and read to him from the start . . . all the time. She told a story about how she took me to a doctor at 18 months and I didn't make a sound while they drew my blood to check it because she had told me the whole way there and for days in advance what was going to happen. She testifies that I was so calm about the whole process because it was familiar by the time it happened. I knew what to expect so I wasn't afraid. Recently, when a friend commented on how much the kiddo understands, I realized, "Hey, it worked!" So this is my new message to new moms: talk to your kids all the time. Even if you feel like you are sick of talking to yourself (since that's what it feels like); even if you hate your own voice, talk to your kids.

What do you talk about? Well, one thing that helped me when I was a new mom is reading. I read children's books to him sometimes, but I was reading books to myself all the time. Our home teacher told us at one point that while his wife was reading, she often just read whatever she was reading to herself aloud to her baby (who was only a day older than our kiddo). Of course, this was only during the day since I wanted to settle him down in the evening and at night, but I did start reading aloud whatever I was reading a lot of the time. The idea is just to inundate the munchkin with language. Also, talk about body parts and the process of cooking an egg or how you fold laundry or what you're buying at the grocery store or what you see while going on a walk, really anything you have done, are doing, will do, have seen, are seeing, will see. Life has an abundance of things to notice, and talking to a child about all the new things for them to see helps us adults notice it too.

I'm not saying I'm an expert. I only have one child and he is not even a year and a half, but from my observations of kids they understand a lot more than adults realize a lot of times, and kids who are spoken to early and often understand even more. Just passing on the wisdom I got from a pretty smart cookie, namely my mom.

Here's some language for you, Mom: "Orange"
(Note: the kiddo turned the page too fast, but they had just been on the orange page.)

Hello, January

2010-01-11T18:20:00.001-08:00

Poor December only got one measly little post. I wasn't completely lazy, however. In fact, I was packing and traveling and visiting and returning and unpacking and playing. I also was posting, actually, just not here. I have taken on an alter ego. You can see my darker, more self-absorbed more feathery side here: www.geefunnyfarm.blogspot.com. (You may be wondering, "Is it possible to have a more self-absorbed side when every post in this thing is about you, your family, and you?" Actually, I think I can say yes.) This alter ego blogging is in behalf of my mom's new business GEE Funny Farm. The business is in the birthing process, but when it's up and running, it's going to be wicked cool. I mean, how many places do you know of where you can go and to see a wallaby, llamas, horses, a miniature horse, parrots, a miniature donkey, and more?

This is a glimpse of the utter coolness of the Funny Farm.

Anyway, we had a fantastic Christmas. We loved seeing our families, in particular. We did not, as it turns out, fall deeply back in love with Wisconsin cold. In fact, we felt a little frosty towards it. My teenage self shudders at my wimpiness; my adult self is actually not all that concerned with approval, as it turns out. It was cold. Period. Our families were awesome, though. The kiddo was showered with attention. If he weren't so cool, he would be spoiled for life. Fortunately, he actually hasn't seemed too obsessed with keeping it up at home. Phew.

Above: Dad's side spoiling the munchkin.
Below: My side spoiling the munchkin.

After the family time, we spent one day with Daniel and Michelle in Michigan. They were so nice to us and tolerant of how we shifted their normal routine by arriving at 1:30 am and getting up to go at 5:30 am the next morning. We played games and caught up and just had such a nice time for the day we were there. And we were so happy to meet their newest addition and see their first addition who is speaking in complete sentences and even says, "I fell and broke down and cried." What two and a half-year-old says, "I broke down"? I love it!

After three weeks away, we were really, really glad to get home to our own space. Our little apartment seemed absolutely charming when we came back to it. Also, we made it back in time to celebrate birthdays with our friends Kathleen and Rachel. So that was an added bonus to our return. Now, Patrick's had his first day of the second semester and he has a better idea of what he needs to do to be successful. It's fun listening to him organize his time, especially since his plans include a walk with me everday. We went on a nice walk in CW (Colonial Williamsburg) today and it was so relaxing, I'm thrilled at the idea of keeping it up for an entire semester . . . and maybe longer. Life, my friends, is pretty stinkin' grand.

Me and my darn good lookin' husband before we went shmoozing law firms on the hunt for a summer internship.

Don't You Wish You Were a Factorial?

2009-12-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

I recently celebrated my birthday. I have a friend who is a numbers/math girl (unlike me) and she introduced me to the wonderful habit of figuring out something cool about every birthday year. This year I am a factorial. Since I will not be a factorial again until I have become a centenarian (which may never happen), I think this is one of the coolest birthday years I've ever celebrated.

For my birthday, Patrick wins the "Best Husband Ever Award" because he went to get my gift on black Friday because he saw an ad for something he thought I'd like and it was hugely on sale. (As in, this gift is usually about 90 dollars and with Black Friday rebates, he got it for 20.) This meant, that the weekend when we were sick, he got up at 5:30 am and went to Office Depot. This may not seem that early for Black Friday fanatics but it was a weekend, he was sick, and he was going to Office Depot so he didn't think it would be that busy, and it didn't open until 6:00 anyway. After he got there, he couldn't find the product he wanted. He got in line to check out something he had found instead and talked to a lady who had been there since 4 am and was the fourth or fifth person in line. This made him realize why the product probably wasn't there-- he just wasn't gung-ho enough. Fortunately, he asked an employee just to be sure, and the employee went in back and found the last one. The product he got because he didn't think the one he'd come for was there was a photo editing program. The one he came for and ended up getting successfully was a scrapbooking program. The gifts were great, but, I have to admit, the effort was the most flattering thing.

Patrick also gets another star because he went in to work his job the night before my birthday so he could stay home with me later on the morning of my birthday. He also canceled a study group so he could come home earlier on my birthday even though he is desperately in need of studying because we were all sick over Thanksgiving break. (Did I mention how wonderful that turned out to be, by the way? I loved being confined to the house with my husband and son. We had a great time just hanging out and being together as a family, even though we all felt physically crummy.) Anyway, in sum, I have the best husband ever.

I opened presents, we had an early dinner going out to eat at Five Guys Burgers and Fries (second choice after Subway, which we couldn't find), and then had friends over for cake and ice cream. I also, as it turns out, have some awesome friends. One friend is a Mary Kay lady, and she gave me lip gloss. The same friend called the night before and offered to make my cake, but I had already made it so she made me homemade oreos instead. One friend is a sewing master, and he made me an awesome purse, so now I can have something cooler than my old-lady purse when I'm not using the diaper bag. Another friend dropped by a really sweet card on my birthday. I also got all sorts of generous and thoughtful gifts and cards from our families on my birthday. Following cake with the two couples who came to share it with us, we finished off the night playing games with our friends Kyle and Kathleen. All in all, a pretty stinkin' sweet day. I was super satisfied with how this birthday went, and now I get to revel in 4! for the duration of this next year of my life. Just think, I'll never get to do that again.

What Do You Do When You're Sick

2009-11-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

Wish You Didn't Get So Many Sale Notices

Well, one thing you do is look longingly at the amazing ads that are going up for Thanksgiving weekend and think, "If only I had the energy . . . and if only I didn't care about spreading sickness."

Call and Cancel Your Plans for Thanksgiving

And feel inexpressibly grateful that you have such nice friends that they offer to bring you dinner on Thanksgiving even though they tell you not to worry about contributing, and even though they are already feeding eight adults at their house, and even though their family is coming into town from north and south to share this meal with them so they could be covetous of their time with them.

Look Longingly at Your Birthday Gifts

Um, this has more to do with the fact that my parents' gifts arrived six days early than it has to do with me being sick, but the fact that I may be lounging around the house for the next six days will make the temptation to open them ever so much greater. Not that I will do it, of course . . .

Sleep a Lot

The kiddo has been sick since about Saturday. Yesterday, I went to the doctor and she gave me decongestant for him. Huzzah! (This did not happen last season when he was sick because he was too little for meds like that; there are just so many things to love about having a one-year-old.) Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I was lucky to get him to sleep a half hour 2-5 times a day. And when he wasn't sleeping he was right on the brink of tears about 90% of the time. Happily, now that he has medication, he sleeps (and isn't an emotional mess) and his daddy and I get to sleep too. Thank goodness that Dad has a vacation. I have already taken two naps today, and I am lucky to ever manage one nap when I'm healthy because my body revolts against "laziness."

Read! Read! Read!

A while ago, I looked at my Goodreads.com list of books to read and thought I should start whittling away at it, so I put a bunch of books on hold at the library. I have now read The Book Thief and The Hunger Games. I am currently reading The Professor and the Madman and have started The Tipping Point, though I haven't been impressed with the second one. Gilead and Catching Fire are now sitting in the house, waiting in line. Patrick is reading Catching Fire, and since that ones a sequel to The Hunger Games, it may get moved up in front of The Tipping Point for me, which, honestly with all these other books waiting in my house, might be tipped right back to the library.

Reading has been a relief because I was starting to get stir crazy. I wanted to get out of the house but I didn't want people to hate me and my sniffly baby. The kiddo has gotten stir crazy too, but he's holding up better now that he's getting naps. So, all in all, life is working out all right for us despite pounding headaches, runny noses, and achey bodies. Even so, we do hope they pass soon, especially for Patrick who has exams starting in exactly two weeks and feels an urgent need to study but not an urgent enough need that it overpowers his even more urgent need to sleep and rest.

A Story of Success

2009-11-16T17:51:00.000-08:00

Today was an exceptionally great day. I washed laundry, put away the clean dishes, made a call about insurance, made a doctor's appointment for the munchkin, went to the grocery store, went to Target, went to the library and played with Caleb inside and out, watched the kiddo walk more than he ever has before, made the most successful dinner I've made in weeks, had family night (Family Home Evening, aka FHE) together, got invited to our friends' house for ice cream, saw some friends we rarely see, and heard some good news to round out the evening.

But my story of success is most specifically about my grocery shopping experience. An enormous fad among our friends here is what is known as "couponing." I jumped on the bandwagon about two weeks ago. Though I missed out on two little workshops on the subject, I got starter tidbits from two different friends who made it, so I determined to get started. My first shopping experience was not delightful, to say the least. First, I had a one-year-old who screamed every time we were in an aisle alone together and then smiled coyly every time he saw anyone else, two-faced little bugger. This was especially unpleasant because it was not a busy time at the store so I was listening to him scream about 90% of our trip. Second, I didn't have very many coupons. Third, I had to buy meat which is not, as it turns out, a common couponing item.

My second trip was hardly less stressful, though I was able to leave the acoustics at home with his dad. Though I did have more coupons and my bill was not hiked up by meat, my stomach started hurting and I spent what felt like a decade on every possible item determining what was actually covered by my coupon and what would be cheapest due to couponing and sales. (Math and I have a stormy relationship so this is not a fast process for me even with a coupon. Headache, headache, headache.)

Despite these first two painful experiences, I was comforted to attend a workshop with the local couponing queen and be reassured that it does take time but that it is worth it -- after all, she estimates that her famiy of five spends $200-$300 a month on groceries and that includes diapers and personal hygiene items. As that is currently about what we spend for the three of us, I determined to persevere. It helped that I could see her set-up and hear a few more of her tips. I may never master it as she has, but her knowledge is valuable no matter how you apply it.

And, in any case, I've been fully converted today. Why you ask? Because I spent $.30 -- yes, that's right-- $.30 on two jars of Ragu spaghetti sauce. (For those of you who suffer from math dysfunction as I do, that is 15 cents per jar.) That's all I bought today because I will go back to take advantage of Farm Fresh's double couponing deal (a $1.00 coupon goes to $2.00) on Wednesday, but today was the last day I could use the store's coupon, so pairing that with the manufacturer's coupon, and the fact that Farm Fresh doubles up to $.99 the rest of the week, and VOILA! I'm a believer! Apparently, all it takes is one good experience to get addicted. Feel the savings. Taste the savings. Be the savings.

We added this picture just for you, Kathleen.

Ode to October

2009-11-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

One of our great adventures in October was going to the William & Mary football game. Note to all moms unfamiliar with this game: a live football game with a toddler isn't the place to learn about it. I was completely oblivious to what was going on 99% of the time. It seemed that every time I looked up nothing was happening and every time the crowd cheered, I was focused on the kiddo. So it happens that I remain completely ignorant on the issue of football strategy, terminology, and, well, everything else even slightly football-related.

After the Tribe's win, Patrick and some friends got together and played some flag football themselves. One thing I love about my husband is that he's really much more interested in playing than in watching (though he does like to watch it as well). Loving to play football as he does, Patrick was very excited beforehand about this informal game, and he wasn't disappointed afterward either-- he had a great time.

While Patrick played football, Caleb and I played in the leaves. Near the end of the game was when Caleb learned the sign "go." It mostly involves moving your hand to point, so it isn't too difficult. We played a game where Caleb signed "GO!" and I would run with him, then I would say, "Stop," and we would stand still. He learned the sign quickly this way because it turned out to be such a fun game for him. Overall, a very successful time period for us all.

Another vocabulary word I missed last time was "bubbles," or rather "ba-ba(s)" (the "s" isn't consistently there). We played with bubbles a lot this month because we came across goodies from last years Halloween with a little pumpkin bubble container.

This picture just makes me think that Caleb is becoming a little boy. (Okay, I admit I threw a block in his pocket so he would reach in to retrieve it, but I think it makes him look so big. He's less and less a baby all the time, even though he isn't technically "toddling" much yet.)

As mentioned in a previous blog post, we also hosted aunt (er, great-aunt) Jenny this month too. She came to visit us after checking out the Funny Farm in Wisconsin. We spent two fantastically fun days touring CW (Colonial Williamsburg) and learning all about the Randolph's, the capital building, and the Governor.
Oh, and we learned about the jail where Jen was incarcerated. Not a pretty thing to be carted off to the noose, as it turns out. Eeew.

Caleb and Jen bonded and are now buddies. It didn't hurt that she gave him fantastic maraccas from her recent trip to Peru. She also bought and read him Goodnight, Moon. It's now a good pre-naptime storybook. She also played the GO!-game with him (mentioned above). I got a video of that, but it didn't turn out well at all, so it's not gonna make the cut. And she just generally gave him a lot of attention and smiled at him a lot which is basically Caleb's idea of heaven.
At the very end of the month, our friends Jason and Melissa invited us over for a Halloween party. Here's Caleb posing in his adorable costume. The vest and pants were inherited from his uncles (my brothers). The shirt was a thrift buy that Grandma bought him. The mocassins came many months ago from my aunt and uncle as a gift with an appropriate matching outfit. And the hat was a Dollar Tree acquisition. The rocking horse belonged to me (and my brothers too?) when we were kids and my parents offered to send it our way when we made the move. All in all, this costume cost us $1. We call that success.
Here Caleb is with his most familiar friends. This is the best I managed with them. I have new respect for photographers of children. What insanity! They were all generally happy at least, but they are also all mobile and wiggly, so they weren't exactly posing for the doting parents and their glued on lenses. Ah well, you get the idea.

And now that Halloween is over . . . on to CHRISTMAS! I love the beauty of fall and the fun of Halloween, but I adore Christmas. I love carols and decorations and the food and the parties and the vacation and the presents and the family and the friends -- all those magical, marvelous parts of Christmas. I admit we have even set up our tree prior to Halloween one year. I don't forget Thanksgiving, I just see that as more build-up to Christmas time. I know some people think it's silly, but, hey, after I'm dead if my kids roll their eyes remembering that I celebrated Christmas ridiculously long I'll be so pleased to have that listed among my quirks.

Hope you're October was as fantastic as ours and hope you are as excited about the holidays as we are.

Recent Milestones

2009-10-30T04:13:00.000-07:00

My mom is a sign language interpreter, so she thinks its especially cool that Caleb is picking up sign language. So this post is for her. Behold! Two more demonstrations of his increasing vocabulary. (Really, you would probably prefer these without sound again.)

Book

Baby

Also, I was making a list of the vocabulary I know he has already and here are the things that came to mind, with an effort at making them slightly chronological as far as when he began to communicate these words:

(Disclaimer: I use the terms "signed" and "spoken" loosely for our 14-month-old. Most of these signs aren't done "right" and most of the words aren't spoken "right." They are baby signs and baby words. So when I say that he says or signs these things, I mean that I usually understand what he is communicating with these words, but not necessarily that other native English speakers or native signers would.)

mama (signed/spoken)
dada (signed/spoken)
more (signed)
eat (signed)
ball (signed/spoken)
play (signed)
book (signed/spoken)
baby (signed)
Jesus (signed/spoken)
girl (signed)
again (signed)
flower (signed)
fruit (signed)

The body parts he recognizes and will usually touch when I ask him to are his head, toes, nose, ears, and belly. Sometimes his tongue or teeth. He's recently learned possession a little because he will often touch Mama's ears or nose and Daddy's ears or nose if we ask him to as well.

The animals he tries to make sounds for are cats, pigs, cows, horses, sheep, and chickens.

October Pictures

2009-10-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

Our boy loves to read. Lately, he's more about flipping pages than reading, but either way he loves books.

At least once a week, he gets to play with a friend. Usually more often than that, but at least once a week. This is his friend who is one month older than him. She's very sweet and gentle.

This is a gruesome picture of the munchkin banging on the keyboard with eye-balls.

Here he is with his precocious nine-month-old walking friend. We are impressed with her skills.

We still continue to take sweet sleeping pictures from time to time. Even if he's growing and talking, he's still our baby.

His ring toy works as decoration too.

Chilling and reading with my friend Laurel and her little daughter while her son is browsing the bookshelf in the background. Aren't they adorable?

Our friends Kyle and Kathleen (yes, the infamous picture-loving Kathleen) on the ferry from Jamestown. I deserve a prize, I got a picture of the girl despite her resistance. It was a very, very cold day.

Pumpkin carving with Kyle and Kathleen. Everyone (except me) hard at work.

Mine and Patrick's pumpkins. Our neighbor told me that our pumpkin looked like Michael Jackson risen from the dead. And, well, Patrick's pumpkin is what happens when you place sharp objects in the hands of an impatient man. There is a face there-- it just isn't carved. Do you see it?

Okay, family, this is what Caleb looks like when you talk to him on the phone. He's intrigued. Occasionally, there's a shy smile, but then back to focusing on this weird phone object and the voices which come through it.

Yeehaw, ride 'em, cowboy! This is to give you a taste of what's to come with Halloween (more pictures to follow). Thanks to Stacy for suggesting the Dollar Tree for a cowboy hat.

A close-up of my pumpkin. I was afraid that it wasn't scary, but Kathleen assured me that the nose made it terrifying.

More bragging about my kiddo: he tried to put the puzzle bench back together. Albeit, he was unsuccessful, but he did try.

One morning our friend came over to play in the morning. . . and they both loved the lion.

It's Official

2009-10-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

#1. Our Apartment is More Guest-Friendly

For those of you who have come to our place and thought what a stupid set-up we had (don't worry, I've thought the same thing), you can now come over and enjoy a more spacious and pleasant atmosphere. I don't know if this is the final result because it's not amazing, but it is a big improvement. In other words, whoever is reading this should come visit us and enjoy it with us . . . and really just come hang out with me and Caleb.

Furthermore, I would like to brag that I made all the changes myself. After a get-together where I watched our furniture arrangement divide people up so that it was difficult to visit, I woke up the next morning and started moving things, including a bookcase, couch, toy chest, tacky "coffee table" (really just a plastic bin with blankets stored inside and one blanket covering the top), and an extra chair from Caleb's room. Basically, I am a female version of Hercules. And it was worth it. Voila! A new and improved living room. (I do sincerely apologize that there are no pictures, but I guess that just means you'll have to come over and see it for yourself.)

#2. I am Not The Only Awkward Person in the World

Really, I seriously stress about all of the awkward things I do. Every night, Patrick has to listen to all the stupid things I said that I shouldn't have said or that came out wrong and seemed to imply things that I don't actually believe. Poor man. When I get into this state of mind, I start to notice all the really stupid things I've said and then I start to feel really socially awkward and then I start to act even more awkward until I really, truly am an awkward person. It's a vicious cycle. Patrick assures me that no one else thinks what I think they think I said, or even if they do they aren't thinking about it any more. The most recent argument he's made to settle down my over-stressed brain was that everyone is awkward and says stupid things. Awkwardness is human. Two awkward situations came up very soon after my conversation with him, and I realized, he's right: Awkwardness happens. It's life. Get over it. Happily, I have not been as stressed since then, and happily for him he hasn't had to listen to the boring list of dumb things I said. That's not to say that I won't ever stress about these things anymore, but it is somewhat reassuring to realize I'm not alone.

#3. One of the Coolest People in the World is Coming to Visit Me

I've been thinking a lot about this visitor and what an awesome person she is and I just wanted to share it with my long list of faithful fans. This woman came into town for my birth, she flew me to San Francisco to spend a week with her early in high school, she spent three weeks with me in Turkey when my grandfather invited me to travel with the two of them, she hiked the Grand Canyon with us and my parents when we were engaged, she was one of five of my extended family members who came into town for my wedding (all of whom were valued because they made the effort to celebrate with us even though they couldn't actually attend the wedding), she came to town for my college graduation, and now she's coming to visit us here for a few days even though it's all the way across the country. Besides that, she was always someone my mom held up to me as a role model when I was a kid because she was very successful and did adventurous things and lived in exotic places like Hong Kong, Thailand, France, and Australia. Even when she lived far away from us (as in all the way across the world) and had a lot going on with work, she always made my brothers and I feel like she cared about us. Ah hem, this person is my fantastic and wonderful Aunt Jennifer. In sum, I wish everybody could have such cool people in their lives as I have in mine.

Why Can't Raising Children Pay For Itself?

2009-10-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

You remember the scripture where God tells Adam that now that he ate the fruit of the tree of life, he's going to have to labor "by the sweat of thy brow"? Understandable. Work is an important element of life; now that we have it, we know that. Maybe not all of us--after all, Tevye dreams of having the easy life. But those of us with a little moderation can have the perspective to realize that, yeah, I'll take meaningful work over bumming around all day.

But, hey, I have a kid and he makes me sweat (at least as much as anybody sitting at a computer in an air conditioned office and often more). I'm working by the sweat of my brow and my pockets are still empty. Heck, if I didn't have a spouse in law school meriting a fellowship and loans up the wazoo, my fridge would be empty too. Many other mothers and potential mothers I know either are working while raising kids or are planning on working while having kids. Most everyone in a position like ours could really use the money, but many people choose to do both because they prefer it. People like that make me feel lazy because in reality what I want to spend most of my time doing is raising a passel of children. (Yes, that's right. I did just say "passel.")

In my ideal world, children would come with their own health insurance and there'd be an hourly wage for mothers per chore and per child. A friend of mine at church is working as a nanny for two kids. I can't help thinking, "She's doing my ideal job--in fact, my actual and current job (minus #2 kid)--but she's getting paid to do it." Of course, I realize there isn't anyone to pay me, and I realize that part of the benefit of being a parent is the sacrifice without monetary rewards. But I don't need the money as reward so much as I could really use it for, um, groceries or rent. Okay, I admit, a new Sunday skirt just might come out of this imaginary wage, but considering that my most recent acquisition in the skirt department is a few years old (not counting the clothes my mom got me for while I was pregnant), I hardly think that could qualify as a "reward," per se.

Realistically, I know that women who are raising kids and working are taking on more work than I am, but realistically the idea of me doing it gives me a migraine -- and I don't even get migraines. Partially, this is my own long-established bias that homes with stay-at-home moms who like staying-at-home are healthier and more ideal (with the caveat that mothers must socialize outside their families for this to be the case). Partially, this might be laziness, but I've never really thought of myself as lazy. I've always tried to do my work well. Perhaps that's the real issue. I am pretty sure that spreading myself so thinly would stretch me too taut to do a great job of being a mother, which, as I said, is really the only job I care about right now. I mean, as it is, I'm a live-in housekeeper of sorts and a full-time babysitter of sorts -- those are two pretty demanding jobs on their own. Sometimes I feel like that spreads me thin enough.

Admittedly, wanting to be exclusively a full-time mom is not a politically correct desire. (I read some article by a lady saying that women who choose to stay at home are deluded and stupid and ruining the world for every other woman -- the idiot's version of feminism.) And I know it really isn't how everybody else feels. But I suspect that everybody who has kids (even if they want to work outside the home) would be delighted if they could make some money doing it. But, as that isn't going to happen anytime soon, we'll just have to be a little creative with our saving techniques and possibly with our money-making devices. Ah, if only I were the Mary Kay or Lia Sophia type. But, alas, as anyone who knows me knows, I'm simply not. Something else incredibly flexible is just gonna have to present itself . . . oh, wait, anybody want to pay me for this novel-like blog entry? That's pretty much the next best thing. Let me just get my bank account information, so you can transfer the funds . . .

(Dear Kathleen, now that I know how much it annoys you not to have pictures, I suspect I will get a perverse pleasure out of any entry that doesn't have pictures. Isn't it nice to know I'm thinking of you?)

A Very Cheap One-Year Photo Shoot

2009-10-02T05:33:00.001-07:00

Dedicated to Grandparents (again)

Mini Cinema

2009-10-02T05:13:00.001-07:00

Dedicated to the Grandmas
(i.e. the videos will probably bore everyone else to tears and my voice in the background will probably make you want to mute it. But it's even more impressive than pictures. *Pats self on back*)

Demonstrating his sign for "ball." (It's at the very end so be patient)

One of the musical cards received for his birthday. This one from Patrick's parents.

Exciting Things Happening In Our Lives

2009-09-27T06:20:00.001-07:00

To encourage active participation in our blog and to avoid any accusations of completely boring posts (which I've been told are ones that have no pictures -- Sorry, I'm guilty, Kathleen!), I have decided to make this a multiple choice test. Sorry for those of you still in school who totally dread these things.

1. What is the latest exciting development in our lives:

A.) I'm pregnant
B.) As the epitome of a normal, healthy family, we've been asked to start a settlement on Mars.
C.) Caleb has taken a few steps on his own.

Answer: C.

( When you read just the first two, I know you were like this is easy, obviously it's Mars, who would have two kids while in law school anyway. Then you read C and were like, oh, shoot, which one is it. Well, yes, it's true. Caleb has started walking. No, I'm not pregnant, but I will someday have two kids while in law school. And, well, Patrick's not all that interested in traveling to Africa or Asia, so I'm pretty sure that even if somebody were fooled into thinking we were normal, we would turn down the offer to stay on Planet Earth in the good ol' USA.)

2. My attitude towards books is:

A.) They're lame and I'd rather watch TV.
B.) I'm an addict who has to read boring books so I don't neglect my child.
C.) I think they're useful for some people.

Answer: B

(How is this exciting? Well, I gave up on Williamsburg books which are mostly dissertations, and, hey, I'm not in school; I don't feel the need to drudge through dull writing when there are things that spark my interest and are valuable creatively or intellectually out there for me to read. So I've gone towards biographies for awhile: Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. The library has enough biographies to keep me busy for awhile, but I don't think this phase of interest will last long enough to get me through that. I'm enjoying learning about these important people in our history though. Be my friend on Goodreads to share what you're reading with me and learn about my introduction to important American figures. By the way, John Adams still remains my favorite, but, hey, he had Abigail and they're a hard team to beat.) -- Honestly, I was kind of just making a plug for goodreads because I'm nosy and I like to know what other people are reading. Join it. Be my friend..

3. What is the coolest word that Caleb is working on

A.) hippopatomus (I don't even know how to spell that)
B.) supercalifragilisticexpealidocious (you'll be suprised to know that I don't know how to spell that either)
C.) Jesus

Answer: C.

( I know, it was a toughy. You were like, well, he is a genius. But then he's so far more of a people/face critter than he is an animal critter -- shhh, don't tell my mom. I am working on teaching him animal signs, but I don't even know the sign for hippopatomus, so that's not one he's likely to pick up on anytime soon. No, instead of animals and random meaningless long words he tries to say Jesus while also trying to do the sign. He loves pictures, and we have quite a few pictures of Jesus on our walls so it's nice to be able to point to them while I'm carrying him and say, "Jesus" while doing the sign. It's all a mush of sounds and hand wiggling, but he'll get there. He's also starting to sign baby (though what he says is more like "didi") and he signs daddy while saying it very clearly. He also signs milk and tries to sign drink. We ended up with a pretty verbal kiddo which is interesting since I didn't talk until I was a bit old, maybe even like three-years-old.)

4. What do Mom and Dad have to look forward to on the weekends now

A.) 3 Date nights a month while friends watch the kiddo and 1 weekend where we watch our friends' kiddos.
B.) Weekend flights to BYU to watch the football games.
C.) Broadway moving to Williamsburg and giving tickets to students of William & Mary for free.

Answer: A.

( I know, shocking. To be honest, I'm not really a big football person. I know, you thought I was. Now the cat's out of the bag. Recently a friend explained the game to me and, not surprisingly, that made the BYU/Oklahoma game much more interesting to me. I would love Broadway of course, especially for free. Specifically, I really, really, really would like to see this show I've heard tell of named Wicked which it seems everyone in the world has seen at least once but me. But, while that is not to be any time soon, I do get to go on other dates that involve an exclusive one-on-one period of time with my favorite person in the world. If you have date ideas, by the way, we would love to hear them.)

Okay, I know you were enthralled by that glimpse into our startlingly exciting lives, but that's all for now. And, well, I have to go feed my kid something before he has a conniption, so there are no pictures. Don't hate, Kathleen. It ain't nice.

Happy Birthday, Dear Caleb,

2009-09-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

This is late, but here are pictures from around his birthday:

Opening a present with Dad's help.

Introducing . . . a cupcake with candle. (Dad also helped blow out the candle.)

First bite: Mmm . . . good.

Second bite: Can't get enough. Need a bigger mouth.

Third bite: Satisfied and finished.
(In reality, it took a bunch more bites than that.)

Forget the fantastic presents. Let's play with tissue paper.

And phones.

Later on, reading before bed.

Okay, not birthday at all, but doesn't he look so cute. He won't always be able to pull this look off, but for now I thought he looked so happy and dressy that I thought he still qualifies as cute.

Peering at me out of his playpen. "Hello, Mom."

Showing the pillow some love. All pillows get love. Pillows are a happy part of life. Babies don't get pillows, but Caleb makes his own pillow out of his blankie in the crib. He will not be deprived!

Caleb saying "No no" when I reached for him and asked if he was done. (I put him in the washer when I was unloading the dryer because my friend said she does that with her son and he loves it. Mine did too.)

Caleb meets our friends' puppy.

More tickling tongue on ticklish feet.

Caleb has a menagerie of animals almost as good as his grandma's. Donkey, sheep, bears, birds, all he needs is a wallaby, some emus, and a zebra and he'll be about equivalent.

Here's our one-year-old. Getting so big and growing up before our eyes!

Developing Like a . . . Weed? Er, Flower.

2009-09-01T17:10:00.001-07:00

This month my son will turn 12 months old. Yes, that's right, one entire year of his life has passed! I was reflecting on all the good things he's doing lately, and I thought I would share his latest progress here.

1. He is just starting to "walk." I mean, he would walk with other people sometimes a little in the past, but he was never very interested in it for long because he crawls very quickly, and if I tried it he wanted me to hold him. Today, however, he took a bunch of steps while I was holding his hands. Also, he has been experimenting with the "walker" toy Grandma and Grandpa got him as his early birthday present.

2. He's always been pretty musical. He played the drums on Grandma and Grandpa's Wii Guitar Hero; he plays on his little toy xylophone; and he plays the keyboard. The latest dimension to that is that he loves to dance. I will turn on the keyboard's pre-programmed songs and twirl him and dance with him and he breaks out into a big grin. That was even at the beginning of the month when Grandma and Grandpa were here. But now he will push the Lion "walker's" nose (which plays a tune) and he will dance to that by shaking his hands around. (See the video at the end)

3. He loves to "knock, knock." We're friends with our next-door neighbors and when we're playing out on the porch, he'll crawl over to their door and knock lightly on it. Besides that, he knocks on walls and anything solid.

4. He loves to climb and crawl. When I was sixteen, a friend of mine gave me a "toddler chair" as a joke. It's a camping chair for a little kid. I kept it all this time, and Caleb loves to climb up on it and even to try to stand on it (which I discourage HEAVILY). We keep a plastic bin with blankets in it by the couch and he loves to climb on that. We have an Ikea chair in his bedroom that he will climb and wiggle up onto. When he gets up, he turns and claps, so he must know that it's an accomplishment.

5. He is speaking a little. He says, "mama," "daddy," and "ba," although it's not always exactly appropriate. It seems like it used to be more accurate, but he then generalized them in a funny way. Lots of women get called "mama," and Patrick even gets called "mama" a lot. Also, it seems that any item he wants is a "ba." It used to be exclusively for balls, but now it's books, our cell phones, pictures on the walls that he wants to touch, and the light switch (which he loves to flip). It's less clear, but he also says, "all done," "uh oh," "oh no," and "no no." He is signing quite a bit: "more," "eat," "all done," and "milk."

6. He is also showing signs that he's listening. I was cleaning up his books and reshelving them the other day and I thought it would be great if he could start helping as his night time routine, so I said, "Caleb, can you hand me that book," and I would point to a specific book, and he would hand it to me! He did this repeatedly. (Tonight, he only wanted to play with them and get them out so it didn't work, but, hey, at least he's beginning to get it.)

7. He loves to explore and is learning more coordination. I gave him an empty and cleaned yogurt container to play with and he loved it. I put some toy blocks in it and he just sat and was entertained by that for about 10 minutes or more. Also, a few weeks ago, he started trying to build towers. He'd already been interested in knocking them over, but being interested in building himself was a new development.

8. He waves at people all the time. I think he is trying to figure out how it works socially, and he doesn't do it on command in the "right" situations. So when we say to wave good-bye, he won't usually do it, but he'll wave when we go outside or after Dad leaves. He seems to be experimenting with it. But he waves at our bishop every time he sees him up close the whole time he sees him.

9. He is trying to figure out how to go down stairs. It scares him a little (which is very healthy), so he is pretty timid about it, but he's made some efforts. I am happy that he has a sense of preservation, so I am content to wait and let him take some time to figure this out.

10. He has started to use tools. I didn't give him a spoon much until recently; I would just feed him to minimize the mess. However, during the last couple weeks he feeds himself oatmeal and things like that, and he does a good job and is very proud of himself. I also introduced him to crayons. He is very interested in them, but he does like to eat them after a second of trying to color, so our coloring sessions never last really long. Also he copies our behavior with the cell phone. He holds it up to his ear as though he is talking to someone. And he is so interested when his grandparents on either side call and talk to him, calling him by name. He doesn't say or do much, but he sits still and listens.

So those are a few of his latest developments. To think that just about a year ago, we were waiting for our little fetus and then he was born and he didn't do much, and now he does a million things and is so interactive. We can't wait to see what the next year holds for our now toddler kiddo.

Play, Play, Play

2009-08-28T06:23:00.000-07:00

Sunday

We gave about 4 minute talks in church because there were four speakers before us. Then we attended our other meetings and had our friends Shawn and Sarah over to dinner.

Monday

The wife of the 2L who lives nearby (Stacy) invited us to go with her and her son to Colonial Williamsburg so that her almost-two-year-old could run around there. It was fun to get to know her and to learn more about what law school will be like since they have a year's worth of experience already.

Tuesday

First, I rode with two expecting mothers (Nancy and Kathleen) to Jamestown to meet three other moms (Stacy, Hailey, and Amber) and wander around the fort. It's older than Williamsburg and, to be honest, there isn't as much to see. There was a sign that said, "This was the home of so-and-so . . ." in front of a lot. Houses are rebuilt in Williamsburg, but some things are just marked in Jamestown. Of course, there was the church and the fort and there was a statue of Pocahontas which would have been a great photo-op if I'd brought my camera. They also think they may have found the very first well built in the settlement (does that mean in the colonies as well?). Also, we went by the museum. Nancy and Kathleen had already been there so I kind of browsed it quickly, but I would go back. The most interesting room was one in which they attempted to recreate faces using skulls they had found. A plaque shared what you suppose about the people from what they knew about the faces. For instance, there was a European woman who was in the fort, and she had been missing most of her teeth for quite a while before she died. They explained that we see this as a sign of poverty (can't afford a dentist), but in their day it was a sign of wealth (could afford sugar). Interesting, huh?

Second, in the evening we attended a birthday party thrown by the woman (Timi) who collected names at the 1L Partner Program last Monday. It was her husband's birthday. The couples in our year are awesome. One of our friends (Liesel) proposed a party game called "celebrity." It was a great ice-breaker. I am looking forward to more socializing with this group in the future. (After we got home, Patrick went to play basketball at the church. They play every Tuesday night at 8:30. He has always wanted a group that was so consistent and at a time that he could attend, and finally it has happened. He comes home sweaty and happy at night. And since it starts around Caleb's bedtime. I end up with a couple hours of "me" time. So everyone wins.)

Wednesday

We stayed home and rested. After all the playing the day before, Caleb hadn't gotten a decent afternoon nap and he fell asleep at the party, so we had just worn him out. I thought a little stability and familiarity for a day would do him some good. We did have our friends Shawn and Sarah over for dinner in the evening. It was good to see them. They are our neighbors. Shawn is just starting school too, so we've all been busy this week.

Thursday

We stayed home most of the day. The morning was amazingly productive: I did laundry, vacuumed, wrote a really important letter, found the mailing address for that letter, got Caleb down for two naps (a short one in the morning and an unexpectedly long one in the afternoon), read my scriptures, exercised, and played with Caleb inside and out. In the afternoon, my friend Melissa came over with her little girl and we had a "play-date" of sorts. Rachel is eight months old, so she and Caleb are sort of at different stages, but they are fun to watch together because I think their temperments are similar-- both explorers, both pretty happy kids. It was good to get to know Melissa better too. It turned out that both of us had started studying American history on our own, so we decided we should do "school" together or something. I'm not entirely sure how that will work out, but it will just be fun to share what we're learning if nothing else.

In the evening, we went to a tour on campus. Three of our couple friends were there, so it was fun to have some friends in the group. One of them had a little girl, so she and Caleb were friendly with each other. She's a lot more chill than Caleb and was content in her stroller much longer, whereas Caleb wanted out of the stroller every time we stopped. It was okay though. Patrick's sweet and isn't all that interested in the history stuff here (not compared to me anyway), so he watched Caleb crawl around in the dust and dirt and I got to listen to the tour guide(s). There was free food at the end, which we were excited about, until we reached the room and it was very nice and not kid-friendly (in the sense that it would have been difficult to get through the line and eat while having a baby among us without making a disaster). So Patrick grabbed me two cookies and said good-bye to our only set of friends who made it to the end, and we headed off to trek back to the law school. All in all, it was a fun event, even if we didn't get the benefit of the free food that we had anticipated. It focused especially on George Wythe, the first lawyer in America. I need to read more him; there seems to be a lot to know. He taught both Thomas Jefferson and John Marshall, so that should show just how much influence he's had on our country without most people even knowing it.

Friday

Well, we'll see. The day has just begun. Sadly, the dog upstairs appears to have been left by his owners and he is howling over us and will probably continue to do so all day. At 10:30 last night, I believe the five-year-old threw a temper tantrum that involved lots of banging and lots of screaming. And to think, she looks so cute when we see her during the daytime. Anyway, we may go swimming, and we will certainly play.

Saturday

There is a LDS grad student get-together organized by Stacy. We will meet the other students in their various years of study at W&M, and in their various programs. It will be good to get to know people a little better, and to meet those that are in the other ward since there are two in the area.

Then in the evening, Patrick's friend Joe is coming over for homemade pizza and videogames. We just learned last Sunday that he was in the area. Patrick hasn't really spent much time with Joe since before his mission, but they were good friends back in Wisconsin. So Patrick is pretty excited.

Summary

We are so busy, and we seem to have the ptential for more friends than we can handle, but, hey, we'll try our best. :) There are just so many good people here. We are looking forward to knowing them better.

And So It Begins

2009-08-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

Last week, William & Mary had orientation week for the first year law students, so Patrick officially got acquainted with the law program, the law building, the law professors, his "law firm," and other law students. On Monday night there was a "partner program" for significant others to go to, so I went and we got to meet the other couples. There were about 10 couples who showed up I would say; four were LDS; three of the LDS couples had kids (none of the non-LDS couples had kids). Most of the other couples have been married quite recently. One was as recent as two weeks ago, one was two months ago, and one was a year; I'm not sure about the others. So we are in the funny situation of no longer being "the norm," as we were in Provo. The other couples all seem wonderfully nice. One woman took the initiative to get names and contact information and is planning a get-together soon.

As for me, I began my stay-at-homedness . . . or began it again since I have done it all along but haven't done it alone for quite awhile. Last week was a little difficult. And the reason why is sort of funny -- I read a parenting book and it made me feel like I was not a very good parent and Caleb was naturally a very good baby but had gone awry because of my bad training. This made for one particularly bad day. However, since I decided that was not useful for either of us, I have put the book aside. I think it has some good points, but if I measure myself against her (the author's) ideal parent, I will not feel good about myself. I may read it, but only in small doses so I don't get overwhelmed or down on myself and Caleb (who really is a wonderful kid). My thought is that I am too permisive sometimes and am not consistent enough. However, my mom gave me some wonderful counsel (which the author actually encouraged too) and that was to talk talk talk to my kid. At least if I explain what's going on in my mind all along he'll have good language skills and know that I'm trying, right?

So instead of reading parenting books, I am reading books on Williamsburg. Did you know that before it was established as a city, it was a settlement called "Middle Plantation"? And have you heard about the Bacon Rebelion where Nathaniel Bacon raised the people against a negligent governor (negligent because he wasn't protecting the people against the Native Americans)? And during the course of that rebellion, Jamestown was burned down and then later the new state house in Jamestown burned down again so Williamsburg was established as a more hopeful settlement (named for the king)? And just before that city was agreed upon, the king and queen granted a charter for the founding of a college to be named in their honor? And did you know that William & Mary is the second college in the English colonies (Harvard College being the first), and the first with royal support? And did you know that it was funded both by the crown and by pirates in prison hoping to get out (though the book didn't explain how contributing to the college would help them get out of prison in Britain)? And, furthermore, did you know that the plans for the college were made by Sir Christopher Wren who also drew the plans for St. Paul's Cathedral in London? I guess the real question probably is, do you even care? I do!

Besides playing with Caleb, and reading, I am also making plans with other wives and moms. We have a "play-date" planned with one other mom and her daughter on Thursday. Then I hope to invite an expecting mother over to hang out on Tuesday. There's another mom who I would like to spend more time with as well (her daughter being just about a month older than Caleb). It turns out that there is another little family in our complex who are LDS, the husband being an L2. Then besides all this socialization, I've made a commitment to write more, which is a wonderful commitment to make, and should be easier to do because I have a table that's all mine in the bedroom and I don't plan to hook up to the Internet there. Finally, there is also housework . . . of course. There are dishes (did I mention that I am actually not that fond of dishwashers in general though I am using this one?), and there are floors to clean, clothes to wash and put away, meals to make, groceries to buy, and all sorts of other wonderful things like that. Oh, and two other things on my list of things to do are 1.) make a precise budget and 2.) exercise more. Yes, I am thinking that in the course of all this trippin' and travelin' I have gotten out of shape. Besides which, with my baby approaching a year and complete weaning, I can no longer rely on nursing to keep my weight down (which it did beautifully). So, there is plenty to do and I should never be bored.

"You Have Arrived!"

2009-08-07T14:42:00.000-07:00

That is what our GPS said to us on Saturday: "You have arrived." Here we are in beautiful Williamsburg, and already we love it. We have been delighted by how friendly people are and how many families there are in the area. Also, we have already checked out the law building at William & Mary and the professors were friendly and introduced themselves to us and the building is very nice. Our LDS bishop also came by and spent an hour visiting with us and just being generally great by answering our questions and giving us some counsel. As far as the history, well, we went to the shops at Colonial Williamsburg and plan to tour the historic area more this week. The weather is familiar to us because it's hot and humid and that's what we grew up with. I've realized in my vast experience (i.e. living in dry and living in humid) that I really prefer moisture in the air; I like humidity. In my experience talking to other people, this view is unusual, but it is true for me anyway even if it isn't popular.

As far as moving in, we have been fortunate to get in and get set up in about a week. We could only do this so quickly because my in-laws came down (bringing a few more things with them that my parents had been storing) and they helped watch Caleb and run errands so that we could get all set up. Also, they brought their van, so when we found a couch for $60 at the thrift store DAV (Disables American Veterans), we could use their van to bring it home. This is the first actual couch (rather than a futon) that we have owned in our marriage-- and it only cost us $60, pretty sweet! We loved having Patrick's parents here and I think they had a good time being here and seeing the sights, but we are also looking forward to settling into our bedrooms and into our own routine. We miss those we love back in Utah, but in general, life is sweet and we are happy.

Goodbye, Daniel and Michelle and your family

Goodbye, Libby and your family

Goodbye, Brother Brigham and all things offered by your university.

Hello, Mr. Jefferson and your beautiful capital

Hello, Grandpa, and thanks for coming to help us

Hello, Grandma, and thanks for carrying couches, assembling bookshelves, making meals, and everything else you've done.

Things I Would Like to Do Before I Move If the Stars Align

2009-07-22T09:05:00.000-07:00

I've lived in Provo for five winters and three summers now and I doubt that I'll be back here for many, many years, so I'm making a list of things to do in the next week before we go to honor good ol' Provo.

See friends of course
Roll down the hill at the Harold B. Lee Library
Play chess at the Maeser Building
Have a water fight in the JFSB fountain
Possibly go browse the BYU Museum of Art
Play on the experiments at the Eyring Science Center
Move the bookshelves in the HBLL periodicals (because the first time I did it, it was magic)
Teach my Beehives one more lesson (*sniffle*)
Take Caleb to walk around at Bridal Veil Falls
Try out the Surf 'n Slurp (cheers to you, Madie and Becca)
Maybe drive up to Salt Lake City and take a tour of the temple grounds

Here is my question for you:
If you were moving from whatever place you live (or perhaps from your favorite place you've ever lived), what would you do before you left (or when you returned) to honor it?

In Transition

2009-07-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

For a moment, we're taking a break. Patrick and Caleb are napping and I am thinking about what to eat for lunch. Our apartment is looking bare. And it's all because we're in the midst of packing. What a life experience it is! Now that I think about it, moving deserves a Life Token (you know the little pieces you get in the game of Life when you do something noteworthy) much like having your first garage sale.

The things we've been thinking about during this process are: Where will we live; How will we move especially now that we have a baby; Where do you find boxes for packing; How many boxes does it take to move a three-year-married-with-baby couple; How do you work out the timing between a moving company and a family; How will we keep a 10-month-old entertained for three days in the car; What will we do with ourselves for the week between when our stuff is taken and we're still here; Probably more importantly, what will we do with ourselves for the days between when we arrive and our stuff arrives; What sorts of stuff will we need to buy before we leave Utah and what sorts of stuff will we need to buy after we arrive in Virginia; How much do we need to budget for that stuff; What will Patrick's orientation week be like; What will our next year, three years, four years, summers, ten years be like; How will we get to the temple in D.C. once we don't have family and close friends to watch our son; How will we manage to see everything we want to see out East (especially in Virginia, and especially in Williamsburg of course); What do we want to see here in Utah before we leave for many, many years; What will we do without our amazing support network we've built up here; How will we help Caleb manage the transition and how will we manage it ourselves; and, well, there's so much besides that!

Some of those thoughts sound concerned, but mostly, to be honest, we're really, really excited. Someone warned us to be patient with each other while going through the process of moving, but so far we haven't been especially tense with each other. We've ended up dividing up responsibilities fairly naturally and helping each other a lot during these last couple of days especially. I know we're both sort of nervous, but more than anything we are looking forward to our next big adventure. Wish us luck!

I Love the Rolling Hills

2009-07-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

So I love Utah. I have had wonderful experiences for the last five years or so that I've been here. Utah will always hold a special place in my heart -- it's the location of my alma mater, it's where I made some important friendships, it's where my husband and I courted, it's where our first two apartments were, it's where our first child was born.

But I adore Wisconsin. Wisconsin is where Patrick and I both have roots. In some ways I'm not a deep-rooted Wisconsinite since my parents are both from Arizona and I wasn't born there. But I now have deep-rooted connections through my husband's family and I lived my childhood and teenage years there so I feel like I'm truly a Wisconsinite. Wisconsin sunsets take my breath away. Wisconsin food puts meat (read "fat") on my bones. Wisconsin green is like a comforter to me. Wisconsin people make me feel like I'm home.

So I loved going back! We just spent two weeks there with our parents, most of our siblings, and a good deal of extended family. Among other things, we went to Six Flags, barbecued (three or four times), rode the ATV, played Wii, ate at the Cheesecake Factory, went to the local Deaf club, and filled ourselves up with FAMILY lovin'!

A Quick Glance from Caleb's Perspective
(There aren't many pictures of me because I'm always behind the camera.)

We celebrated the 4th of July at a lake party. The lake was cold-- that explains Caleb's look: "Grandpa, this is nuts!"

Nap times were irregular but frequent. They often took place cuddled up to someone. I'm not firm enough to make him go to sleep on his own in unfamiliar surroundings.

Loads of attention from admiring fans like grandpa (which may explain his fussiness since getting back).

Cuddling up to and playing with Grandma.

Taking a walk with Grandma.

And generally feeling very loved and cherished. Okay, let's be honest the family is a big part of our love for Wisconsin. But, hey, that's not a small thing.

Things That Make Me Happy

2009-06-25T19:51:00.001-07:00

What Takes Me Out of My Happy Place

Okay, truthfully, I'm going to start with something that frustrates me like crazy: putting Caleb to bed. That is right, I absolutely hate it. I feel myself almost getting angry because it takes more than an hour a lot of time even when I know he's tired! I set him in his crib, and he stands up again, and again, and again, and again, and . . . well, you get the point-- argh! Patrick sometimes holds him down and has success with that, but I'm not much good at it, and either way, it doesn't always work either. Sometimes, now I've started to leave after I've laid him down from standing up five or six or seven times. And then he just stands in his crib and cries until I think he's going to make himself sick (the longest I have left him is ten minutes). At first, it sort of seemed to make him tired enough that at least he'd finally relax and go to sleep, but now when I come back in and lay him back down he just stands up. I am going out of my mind! I thought I might ask the doctor for suggestions since he is supposed to call me Monday with some results on blood work Caleb had done, but I'd be interested to know if other people have had similar problems and what they have done. I am going out of my mind.

What Puts Me In My Happy Place

Two quick points 1.) This is another list. Sorry if you hate them. 2.) These are not all equal in worth and they are not in any sort of order.

1. Going to the Temple: Since we've been married, Patrick and I have been able to go to the temple every month. I doubt we'll be able to manage that once we move and the temple is more than 5-20 minutes away (5 to Provo, 20 to Timpanogos). Also, we have been fortunate to have aunts and friends who have been so kind about watching Caleb so we could go together. We went today, and it felt so good to be in such a beautiful, peaceful place.

2. An Adventurous Baby: Since pretty early on, Caleb has been a mover, and now he is into everything. Even though I joke about the messes he makes, they don't bother me that much. I love how curious he is. I love watching him explore. I think it's fun that he climbs the entire flight of stairs, that he tastes all the rocks in the rock garden, that he opens and closes the drain while taking a bath, that he puts his hand under the faucet when it's running, that he knocks things down just because they're there.

3. Writing: Aunt Mickie called a few months ago to tell me about the BYU Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers Conference. I went to the afternoon sessions of the conference and felt really enthused about writing. I won't say how successful I've been about doing it consistently since then, but I learned a lot and I was inspired by all the authors who are moms while also being successful writers. Many of them gave good tips on how to manage it. And I felt like, if they can do it, so can I.

4. Houses Growing and Changing: Since marriage, Patrick and I have laid silent claim to houses that were going up near where we lived. There was one right next to our old apartment that we watched go up and felt some possession of, and there's one nearby here with a round room on the second floor that has a steep, pointed roof. (Disclaimer: I don't know much about architectural terms.) We love that room even though we've never been in it. We like to think about what our house would look like if we were to build one. There's something very refreshing about a new house. It's like a clean piece of paper-- very hopeful--waiting to be filled.

5. Walking in the Rain: Today, what made me think about making a happy list (which I know I've done before) was that I went walking with Caleb in the rain while Patrick was at work. I put a cover over the stroller and then went walking over around the park and around our neighborhood. It was a warm (slightly dusty) rain, and quite a few people were out so that two different women visited with me a little bit and were very friendly and kind.

6. Books: Recenlty I've read Larger-Than-Life Laura and Heartbeat, two middle-grade books which had good messages and didn't absorb too much of my time and energy (which is a plus). Although, before that, Patrick and I got into the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, and it did absorb a lot of time and energy, but it was fun and somewhat educational as well.

7. Packing: We're not leaving until the end of July, but since we'll be out of town for two weeks before that, I've already started loading stuff in boxes. It might be a little premature, but I am enjoying it. It's nice to get things done before your stressed about it. And it's nice to be filing down our stuff and making friends with DI. And it's nice to watch our lives get simpler and simpler as I pack away more and more of our stuff and our house begins to look like we're leaving, which we are. And I'm happy to say that I think "unpacking" will also be something that makes me happy once we reach Virginia.

8. A Fresh Start: I am so excited for something new! I have loved my time here in Utah, but I am so ready for a change. I am ready to be around new people in a new region of the country with new weather (where the rain doesn't smell dusty), and a new stage of life for our family, living in a new apartment, and making new friends (though I love the friends we have), with new adventures ahead. I don't kid myself that it will be completely easy, but I still think that all-and-all it will be a wonderful thing for me personally and for us as a family.

Living With an Eight-Month-Old Is Too Much Fun

2009-06-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

These pictures could have been organized better for better effect, but I'm sorry to say this is what you get. And even if they're not beautifully or comically organized, the subject matter is fantastic!

So, living with an eight-month-old turns out to involve messes more so than any previous stage so far. . .

but there is also the sweetness of modeling cute new outfits sent by grandparents and a wonderful great-aunt as well as the progress of learning to drink from a sippy cup . . .

and then there are more messes, of course.

And around all the fun of baby, there are also family celebrations, like a quarter-of-a-century birthday party for Dad . . .

with all the blaze of 25 candles.

And there are also celebrations like seeing off missionaries, like Patrick's cousin Thayne. This is at our last family dinner before he entered the Missionary Training Center. Caleb is progressing lizard/monkey-like by crawling and climbing.

There are also adventures to conquer.
(Please notice the super-cute Tigger overalls from Patrick's parents and his aunt.)

And there are friends, like Juan and Cami, to get reacquainted with.

And there are more messes to consider, while practicing the art of kneeling.

And there is bathtub splashing to do. He was having so much fun splashing here-- that's why the water is all ripply in this picture and why he is so smiley. He was going crazy!

And eventually it's time to face those former dreams and make them come true.

And there's the hard work of a successful garage sale.

Fortunately, we had two sets of friends do the garage sale with us. This was a blessing for me because I'm sure I sold more since they helped fill up the garage, and because Patrick was at work and, as you could see from the previous picture, Caleb was worn out.

And there is the adventure of escaping into the "wild" outdoors . . .

though, of course, it's hard to move very quickly on hands, knees, and bellies, so I could get a picture before they ran away completely.

Here Jay and Libby watch them face the vast outdoors -- so much uncharted (to them) territory to explore!

And there is happiness in the morning for everyone after 9 or 10 hours of sleep for this little rugrat. (Yes, you heard me right, this baby is unquestionably sleeping through the night.)

And there are weekly occasions to dress up and look as grown up as Dad . . . or almost.
(I only wish it weren't so blurry.)

And, yes, there are more opportunities for messes. Especially when there's two.

And there is just general happiness and fun at this stage from all the progress and development and interaction and giggles and cuddles.

Happiness Is . . .

2009-06-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

Anniversaries

This year, during this last week, we celebrated three years of marriage. I know people often post sweet, romantic things about their spouses on their blogs for their anniversaries, but as my husband doesn't do the blog thing and I write these entries more for my grandma and any other interested parties, I will just say I love my husband and I'm grateful to be married to him. He's a wonderful husband and father.

Also, it was fun reflecting on our last three years together. In retrospect, I thought, the first year was fun and so, so happy, but it was also a little crazy because we were still getting to know each other and we were learning how to live with each other on the most basic level, dealing with issues like how to squeeze the toothpaste out and who does the dishes. The second year was even more fun than the first I think and a lot of the really basic issues had been dealt with, so the big thing to face was pregnancy since we found out in December that we were expecting. And the third year has been a year of change-- I graduated just before our second anniversary, Caleb was born, Patrick graduated, and he decided to go to law school all in this last year of marriage. In some ways all that change has been hard because it's involved a lot of adapting, but it's also been so exciting! This next year will involve major change as well, but we say, "Bring it on!" To celebrate this anniversary, we had a nice morning going out to breakfast and a nice evening pan-searing some stakes we'd bought on sale awhile ago and eating brownies and ice cream.

Patrick's Birthday

Patrick celebrated his birthday this last week. I made him breakfast of bacon, sausage, and toast, and then he opened his presents. I think he was pretty excited and really grateful for the gifts he got this year. The strangest gift? My mom got him a "cat-a-pult" which is a little gun that shoots out these plastic cats. The animal issue is a funny joke between my mom (an animal lover) and Patrick (a walking allergy). Patrick probably wouldn't dislike cats if he weren't so allergic to them, but as it stands the "cat-a-pult" was pretty funny.

Patrick had to go to work for the day, but mostly it wasn't a hard day there so he could read the comic book I got him (Get Fuzzy) and mess around with the GPS my parents got him. Then when he came home we had got pizza for dinner--pepperoni/meatlovers pizza is Patrick's favorite food--from Pizza Hut, and then had cake and ice cream with friends in the evening. We called this his Quarter-of-a-Century Party. After the cake and ice cream, we headed over to the park and played baseball and then a bunch of kids that were there ended up playing a very non-competitive game of volleyball with us.

It was so nice to spend this time with our friends. Here is the story with our friends. One set, that we spend the most time with and we have the most connections to, is headed to Michigan for a master's in social work. Another set that we made and love from our first married ward is headed to Flagstaff, Arizona for physical therapy school. Another set that we're friends with because the wife and I grew up together in Wisconsin will be staying here in Utah and have plans to eventually move to Texas possibly. Another set that we're friends with because Patrick grew up with the wife in Wisconsin is headed to Oregon for chiropractic school. Two other sets that couldn't come to the party will probably always live in Utah as far as we can tell. So our friends will be all around the country. It is a strange but interesting stage of life to be in with many of our friends starting families and moving onto graduate school and jobs.

An Eight-Month-Old Baby

He's almost nine months now, but I would say this is my favorite stage with him so far. He's doing so much--crawling, making noises like "mama" and "dada," starting to pull himself up, etc.-- and for the first time I'm not in a hurry for him to do something else. I think in the past there was always something: I wanted him to smile at me, then I wanted him to laugh at me, then I wanted him to sit up, then I wanted him to roll over, then I wanted him to crawl. I don't think I worried about it too much but it was there in my head that I wanted him to do these things. And now I'm not in a hurry for him to do more. Of course I want him to do stuff when he's ready, but I'm not stressing about it. He's so interactive and interesting now without doing anything more. Also, yesterday, for the first time we spotted a tooth. Not only that, but these last three nights he's slept through the night. It came after two nights of getting up, checking on him, and then letting him cry himself to sleep. The first night he was out after fifteen minutes or so and the second night it took less than ten. This morning he seemed to wake up at 5:30, but after I went to the bathroom he'd already gone back to sleep. So he's figured out this going back to sleep thing, and that is another victory in our lives.

He definitely has a preference for his parents, and Patrick and I are both enjoying that. He still likes other people, but he comes to me and looks for me. I think that Patrick and Caleb are especially building a good relationship now. Patrick has always played with him and interacted with him, but he just really seems to be having more fun lately. Both of us are constantly amazed by the changes Caleb's going through and we are loving being a part of his life.

Finding Housing and Making Friends

Yes, that's right, we've found a place to stay in Virginia. Patrick contacted two of the LDS students in law school at William & Mary to ask them questions. One of them recommended three places that students frequently live and we contacted the management of the cheapest place. I think that they actually got us an apartment in a different, possibly older, complex than the one this student recommended (as they are differentiated by roman numerals I and II), but the two bedroom is cheaper at the I, so we are satisfied with it already. We were concerned about the price because it is so much more expensive than anything we've had to pay for here, but one of the students assured Patrick that it's pretty average. There are more expensive places right next to campus and there are cheaper places in the more ghetto areas (where he didn't recommend that we live). So we already have these two connections and we have a place to stay. We still have to fill out paperwork and make a deposit, but we've talked to a woman in the office and we're feeling pretty satisfied with this option. You may wonder when we can move in: August 1. So we are headed out of sweet old Provo come the end of July.

Flagstaff

2009-05-18T11:20:00.001-07:00

All right, I know everyone is fed up with our pictures and Caleb is dying for a change of pace so we are nearly done and then he and I are going for a walk. Finally, we headed up to Flagstaff. And we had a wonderful time there!

. . . after the first night, which was slightly exhausting. This is me and Caleb taking a morning nap since he had been awake since 3:30 that morning.

Later, we went walking around Mt. Elden. This is the coolest tree ever, don't you think?

I'm not really into geology (unlike my uncle who's posing as king of the mountain here), but I think this is one very cool rock.

Dad and two of his "kids" -- one by birth, one by marriage

Peekaboo! While we were gone, great-grandma Billie bonded with Caleb.

Later, we met up with the rest of my dad's family that's in the area. Here's my dad's older brother with their younger brother's older daughter. Does that make sense?

This is funny because we have an engagement picture where I'm giving Patrick a piggy-back too. Three years later and not much has changed. Although, to be perfectly honest, there was quite a while where I wouldn't do this. To carry something in your belly and something on your back? Even I'm not silly enough to try it.

Here we are playing ball with Caleb. Who has the ball? Petra has the ball! He's good at this game.

There will be more updates soon, I'm sure, but for now we're caught up on our latest adventures. Our next destination? Wisconsin. And there we will convince Patrick's older brother that we do, in fact, have a child and he is, in fact, an uncle, which apparently he doubted. And between this adventure and that adventure? Anniversary, birthday, a possible writer's conference, a sleepover, a family home evening, a missionary farewell, and who knows what else!

Phoenix

2009-05-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

For our latest trip, we headed to see my brother and his daughter in Phoenix. Originally, the "Arizona trip" was focused on doing a rim-to-rim hike across the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately, our request for a permit was denied. Still, my grandparents had offered my parents their '86 Bounder-- a huge moterhome--and so my parents needed to make the trip to get it from Arizona to Wisconsin and we had already planned on going to Arizona and particularly on visiting my brother, so we all met up. First, we spent the night at my grandparents' in Flagstaff and on Friday morning made the trip down to the hot, hot valley. The weather was around 101 degrees the whole time, but the family bonding was good even if the weather wasn't my favorite.

Phoenix was Caleb's first experience in a pool. He was a little tentative and thoughtful about it at first, but he seemed to enjoy it after awhile. Here he is hiding from the sun in his floating crab.

Family photo at the home of some of my brother's friends. This family was wonderful and I would like our family to be like theirs. Happily, I love my family as it is too. Aren't we adorable?

Another family photo. This one is at the Mesa Temple.

Grandma and Caleb.

We went to a cool (speaking in slang of course) animal park while in the area. Here's Caleb, Dad, and crocodile.

So far Caleb only has the one cousin. She was wonderful with him and loved to carry him around.

Here's our darling family playing in the pool.

Besides the animal park and the pool, we also enjoyed watching my niece at her Karate class and going out to eat at a cool pizza parlor with an organist playing requests on a raised platform in the room. I'd recommend the pizza parlor to anyone in the area. Though we loved seeing my brother and his daughter, we both agreed that we'd never want to live in Phoenix. So sue us, we're not into oven-baking heat that starts in May. We were content to head back "up the hill" to Flagstaff.

Disneyland

2009-05-17T19:51:00.001-07:00

We begin with a view of our personal California adventure, during which we experienced for the first time California Adventure and In and Out (which is good, but not amazing) and we experienced for the second time Disneyland and we experienced it with children for the first time. I was very, very impressed by how kid-friendly Disneyland is. When I went I was the youngest at twelve years old, so I didn't have any idea how great it was for families with little kids, but Caleb could go on many of the rides (even asleep). Also, they have this amazing thing called a "stroller pass" so that we didn't have to wait for two hours for each ride. And all the bathrooms (mens' and womens') had changing tables. I suspect it is the best amusement park for people with babies. Still, we do look forward to making a trip someday when our youngest is about ten. It would be a totally different experience! In any case, this was a wonderful vacation and we enjoyed all the time we got to spend with our friends Dan and Michelle and their daughter as well as the family time we got playing and talking.

Pleasure Island: Disneyland itself was very pleasurable. (The food not so much for the cost, but the rides were fantastic.)

Dan, Michelle, and Cosette on the circus train.

Keegan, Patrick, and Caleb on the circus train. It seems to have been his favorite ride (or else he was just enjoying the cup).

On the carousel. Caleb's first time on a "horse."

Patrick got a wild one. Who knew those even existed on these things!

The magic of the Disneyland castle and of friendship (aaahhh!). We are sorry to say that we will be way too far away from these friends come fall. Happily for them, they will be near some of our other good friends. And, well, I guess we'll just have to make new ones.

Caleb somehow got cut out of this picture, but it's a nice picture of me and Patrick. How romantic (or something).

This sweet boy is smiling under that pacifier. This is on the jungle cruise. The guide is obnoxious but also funny.

Patrick shooting in a graveyard.

Water ride #1: Meet Brer Rabbit and his pals.

And into California Adventure. Caleb had a good time climbing around on these ropes, though it turns out you're not really supposed to linger.

Water ride #2: California Adventure's bear ride thing. It took two tries to get so wet and we only got the opportunity because people on the first ride gave us their fast passes. Thanks to them! I love nice people.

After all the fun, exhaustion set in. Home is such a wonderful place! It took a bit of adjustment to be home after this trip actually and this day was a bit stressful, but we could hardly blame him.

So, happiness is when somebody else's somewhat shy two-year-old plops down on your lap and starts chatting with you about all the interesting things in life (balloons and things like that). After five straight days together, she was right at home with me (though we were fairly chummy before this too) and I was happy to have these two little munchkins in my life.

Busy, Busy Month

2009-05-17T18:30:00.001-07:00

This Month So Far:
- Definite decision to attend William & Mary (Virginia, here we come)
- Disneyland, California Adventure, and In and Out
- Phoenix (to see my parents, my brother, and my niece)
- Flagstaff (to see my parents, my grandparents, three uncles, two aunts, and five cousins)
- Decision to go to Wisconsin probably in July

This Month Yet to Come:
- FHE with our good friends Jay and Libby and their son tomorrow
- an overnight camping trip just for the heck of it
- Our three-year anniversary
- Patrick's twenty-fifth birthday (complete with a quarter-of-a-century party)

Progress (and sometimes not exactly progress) With Caleb:
- crawling forward without rocking back and forth
- clapping a lot and even when we say "clap your hands" or "good job"
- getting down from sitting up on his own (not gracefully, but I still don't move gracefully, so there may not be a lot of hope for him)
- lots of new foods including peanut butter, cheese, yogurt, bread, oranges, salmon, eggs, lemon and grapes
- copying sounds (our friends' daughter said "More water" and he mimicked her then and another time)
- loving his mama and daddy more than ever, but still enjoying other people a lot
- putting everything in his mouth that he can reach and especially things that he shouldn't
- increased mobility, but we've decided that his energy is really very fun so we're enjoying it

Our Darling, Growing Child

2009-04-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

So lately we have been experiencing a "stage" or something. It has involved a lot more fussiness. (This has not been helped by the diet I've been feeding him which has included a lot of bananas, rice, and applesauce, which apparently can be hard on the digestive system. This fussiness is exhausting! Our usually-happy boy demands way more attention and often isn't even that content when we're paying very close attention to him. Is it teething? That's what some people suggest, but we can't find the trace of a tooth yet, so I don't think so. Some people have also suggested that he's reaching a clingy stage where he mostly just wants his mom. I have tried my best to minimize the clingy stages by allowing many people to hand him (which has been a good attitude for a Beehive teacher since twelve- and thirteen-year-old girls are more baby hungry than a newlywed woman), but it may be true because sometimes he has been fussy for other people and calmed down when they handed him back to me. But he is also often fussy for me. Anyway, the real point of this entry is not actually to complain. It's to count our blessings because while we are pulling our hair out a bit, we have lots of fun times with him too because our baby is continuing to grow and develop and learn new things. Therefore, we here present the latest pictures and achievements of our sweet boy.

This is an attempt to capture what we think looks like red hair sometimes. Mostly though it's blond, except when wet and then it's brown.

This is how Dad and Caleb help me put away laundry.

Here is Caleb sitting up on his own.

Here is Caleb with his fan club (two of my Beehive girls). They're teaching him to play the piano.

This is Caleb watching General Conference on Saturday with Aunt Mickie.

Caleb waving. Caleb and Dad are watching General Conference together at Aunt Mickie's house.

This is General Conference on Sunday. We had to listen to it on the radio. In some ways that didn't work too well.

This is Caleb testing out more foods. He's gnawing on a red bell pepper and holding a cucumber. He looks very thoughtful.

Monday night before Easter, we got together with our friends Jay and Libby and their baby (who is just a day older than Caleb) to dye eggs at their place.

This is one of our eggs. Caleb got worn out by all the fun.

Dad and Caleb chilling on the floor.

Caleb dressed for Easter. (Fortunately you can't really tell in this picture that the pants (on this 12 month outfit) are way too long on him.)

Mom and Caleb on Easter.

We watched a lot of movies for about a week there and Caleb often fell asleep during them. This is one of those times. Patrick thought he had the coolest expression. (And I am deliberately sticking my tongue out for the picture, by the way.)

Mostly, he's just darling and we love him and we realize "this too shall pass." We just have to remember the smiles on the days when there are not a lot of them.

And finally, the latest development -- crawling! (sort of)

Dear Moms (Past, Present, and Future)

2009-04-17T08:54:00.001-07:00

I have lots of questions about what other moms do. Sometimes, when we are having Caleb hang out while we watch a movie or play a game, I wonder if I should be paying more attention to him. This happens both when he's fussy and when he seems content to be entertaining himself. I often question if I am successfully balancing my personal time both with selfish things like computer time or reading and necessary things like showers and eating with my mothering time. How do you gauge that? How do you feel confident about what you're doing? Do you find ways to involve your child/children in your personal activities or do you let them do their own thing? I wonder how to raise a child who is healthy, independent, and confident as well as one who feels safe, secure, and loved. Do other moms wonder about this? Sometimes I think I will not be so puzzled about this when he's older or when there are more kids in our family, but other times I realize that there will be other problems so I'm sure there will be new blog posts on those questions someday. Plus, that's still some time from now and this baby-period is an important stage in his life, so I'd like to do the best I can figuring out the question of what to do with your first child.

I'm not sure if these questions make sense, but I hope that they're clear. I would love to read either comments or other blog posts about these ideas from anybody with ideas on this subject either from your own experience with your children or babysitting or watching other parents. What do you think? How do you maintain "personal time" and also give your child the time he/she needs with you? Do you even need personal time? Should you only have personal time while your baby is napping or sleeping (which Caleb is right now)? If you aren't paying avid attention to your child for the time being because you're entertaining guests, doing your own thing, or spending time with your spouse should you leave your child to entertain himself as long as he's content to encourage independence? Should you only be concerned when the child is fussy or by then is it too late and it's obvious you've neglected him too long? If that's true, what signs do you use to figure out when he especially wants your attention? How do you figure things like these out? Do other moms wonder about this? And do other moms sometimes feel selfish? And how do you know when it's justified and when it's not?

Perhaps these are silly questions and I wouldn't have asked them when I was a very new mom because I felt like everyone else knew what they were doing, but with the perspective of a few months more of experience (so now I'm only a new mom and not a very new mom) I suspect that other moms have similar questions. Thanks for any feedback either here or in your own blogs.

April Fun and Progress

2009-04-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

Caleb

Caleb is now seven months old, and what a good last month he's had developmentally! For the last week or so he has slept anywhere from seven to nine hours straight every night (except once when he woke up at 2:00 am and cried for an hour). This is especially nice for me since I am fighting a cold . . . again. Though it hasn't been the miracle worker I hoped for, I think it has prevented me from getting any more sickly.

In his first month of eating solids, he has improved so that he's actually consuming quite a bit of what I feed him now. This month we have focused on vegetables (except for avocado, which was his first food and is actually a fruit): peas, carrots, sweet potato, green beans, squash, zuchini, broccoli, and red and green bell pepper. He's also had rice cereal, and he liked Gerber's cereal better than my homemade stuff, but I did home prepare the avocado, peas, zuchini, broccoli, and bell peppers. The avocado I just mashed up, but everything else I steamed, then blended, and then froze the extra in ice cube trays. It makes me feel very domestic. A good website about feeding babies I came across is called wholesomebabyfood.com. I haven't followed everything religiously, but I think it has good information and good ideas for baby food "recipes." This month, we are introducing Caleb to fruits. There is no real reason for waiting until he was seven months old, except that our theory is that we'll expose him to lots of vegetables before doing fruit. Why a whole month? Just because Patrick decided it was a good idea. I thought it was silly, but I realized since then that it is fun to look forward to a simple way to celebrate the smaller milestones. I think we'll start with apple sauce and then a pear.

Also, Caleb has learned to sit up. At his last doctor's appointment, the doctor asked if he was sitting up and we said, "Well, no. He doesn't really like it. He would rather stand." It's funny because our perception of what he thought seems to have limited our child's growth. The doctor recommended we help him sit up a little every day and once I started doing that, he picked up on it so fast! Let that be a lesson to us.

The Parents

As far as schools go, Patrick has heard back from more than half of the schools now. He was waitlisted at two of the ones he was most interested in and hasn't yet heard back from the third, so he's now looking at the three that interest him most who have accepted him: William & Mary, University of Wisconsin-Madison, and University of Illinois. The first offered a pretty good financial package and has showed a lot of interest in him. They have also been very professional in getting notices and other information to us quickly and often. And a big plus for me is that it's in historic America, so I anticipate that there will be lots of things to see and do. Madison, of course, is closest to our families which is a draw for both of us. Patrick hasn't heard what they are offering financially yet, but it comes with in-state tuition, so that's nice. They have also been really good about responding to emails Patrick has sent, though their standard notifications via the postal service or emails (including notice of acceptance to their school) are ridiculously slow and irregular. And Illinois is nice because they have offered a good financial package, are the highest of the three in rankings, are not far from family, and might be closest to our friends who are going to Michigan.

While we are waiting for the next stage of our lives, we are not sitting around twiddling our thumbs. No, we are making the most of our summer. Okay, we don't get to hike the Grand Canyon as planned, but we still have a trip planned to Arizona to visit my brother, my niece, her mom, as well as my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. And before that, we are headed to . . . DISNEYLAND! That's right, Disneyland. This took heavy deliberation and debate, but we have decided to go for it. We are going with our friends Dan and Michelle and their little girl. We hope this means we can all get the most out of the roller coaster experience by taking turns watching the kids while we go on rides. We also calculate that this will save each family money in some respects. This is the first vacation we've taken so far (besides single night camping trips) that didn't involve family. And while we love our families, there's something to be said for a different kind of vacation every once in a while. Don't worry: I'm sure there will be lots of pictures to follow.

Four Generations Together

2009-04-01T04:49:00.001-07:00

For the first time in his life, Caleb got to be part of a four generation get-together. To date the oldest generation he's met has been his grandparents, but this week my maternal grandparents (his great-grandparents) came to town overlapping a visit from my mom. My mom hadn't seen Caleb since his birth, which she got to witness. As you can imagine, all this familying (yes, I made up that word. I'm an English language major; it ought to be good for something) made for lots of fun. Unfortunately, the fun was somewhat dampened by Caleb experiencing another bout of sickness-- what's this about breastfeeding keeping kids healthier? That and the cold weather made for some limitation in activity, but everyone was wonderful about it and it didn't make a big difference in family bonding.

This isn't related to the family visiting, but I thought I'd let new parents know, don't bother buying fancy toys because whatever you have they will love. I am learning to save boxes and mint containers and water bottles.

Caleb "playing ball." Actually, while sitting at the kitchen table the grandmas and Dad did play ball with Caleb. I don't know if he knew what was going on, but it was still pretty cool.

Grandma feeding Caleb carrots (I think).

Mom feeding Caleb. It's important for the one feeding to make a face while doing the feeding. "Ah . . . ah . . . open up." Other moms totally know what I'm talking about.

"Hello, Grandma. Weren't you here about seven months ago when I was born? You look familiar."

Passing mutual inspection. :)

Gnawing on orange and cucumber was a fun way to feel grown up. The cucumber was actually amazingly popular.

"Hi, Mom. Um, this is a fun toy, but I really don't know what to do with it."

"Oh, I see."

Chilling and visiting.

A great pianist at the ripe old age of 6 1/2 months.

Playing on the floor.

Grandma is singing "Little Brown Jug," a song her father sang to little kids while bouncing them on his leg. She says those are the songs of grandpas, while grandmas sing "Jesus Loves Me."

Grandpa holding his great-grandson. Caleb is actually the second and the third great-grandchild.

A nice enough day for grilling out.

. . . and napping.

Rocking away.

And finally, in unrelated news, I found the word "distance." Not all that impressive, you say? You're right. Even with the longest word on this turn I got the fewest points. But still -- "distance" -- that's pretty cool.

Solid Foods and Other Joys of March

2009-03-22T04:23:00.000-07:00

Our smiley kid.

Studying his shadow.

Puzzling over books.

Patrick helping me babysit.

Caleb taking a nap.

Caught in the act.

Our friend Jeff with his son, Knightley. Practicing for when they have have more.

Introducing solids! Avocados first.

Not entirely sure what to think.

Peas, however, got a very definite response.

Bonding in the rocking chair.

. . . while Michelle rocks them.

Rolling himself up in a blanket. I like to do this too, but more for warmth than entertainment.

Carrots went over pretty well: "Give me more!"

Caleb with Latter-day Saint Patrick (Michelle's joke, not mine)

Caleb modeling his dashing St. Patrick's Day outfit.

. . . and again, "Let me just move this bib out of the way."

Twins! (Thanks to my mom.) These are our friends Debbie and Knightley.

On our way hiking up the Y. Caleb's first time ever!

With the Curtises.

And there's us.

And there we all are. Yup, we made it to the top.

The view from the top, looking down on Provo.

On our way back down. Beautiful background, handsome foreground.

Caleb enjoying his first hiking experience (even though he kept bumping against Dad's back).

This was Caleb's apparel on this beautiful last week when we went for a stroll to enjoy the weather.

"Well, hello! Didn't see you there!"